February 26, 2012

Hmmm, what to write... it slept. A lot. it has not been feeling it's best still, just tired with dry eyes. This isn't a common thing for it, it hopes this is allergy related. it still has visions of Mistress dancing in it's head. Hmm... it is unsure what to write about today... it is planning to resume therapy, not for any particular trauma or diagnosed issue, but as a place to 'safely' express it's feelings\thoughts\concerns without the subtle worry of repercussions, etc. it knows that in time it will trust Mistress entirely, it already trusts Her more than it's own reflex tells it that it should trust someone. The last time she beat it as punishment, it found itself diving into a submissive space in which it would have allowed her to inflict the world upon it. it was determined to accept whatever She deemed fit, and it was determined to be nothing but submissive and grateful. That said, it still has a hard time opening up. Not even intentionally, there are so many things about it that make up who it is, it doesn't know what to share at times, or what it has\has not shared before. For example, it is a novelist, it is a certified reverend, it is an only child, and it is a former missionary of sorts. These aren't 'secrets' per-say, but they are things about it that most people simply don't know. it has difficulty understanding how to properly assess what needs to be known, as it feels there is simply too much information to fully disclose... it worries that it will unintentionally overlook something and upset Mistress.

That said... um... it does not know of a historical incident to refer to today, tomorrow it will share an anecdote of sorts... a true story. A [sadly] true story at that, of it's first foray into D\s, anal play, and accidental humiliation.