Kajira 10/10/2011 - 10/16/2011

10/10/2011
Hey journal its the day before its hatchday and today was a pretty meh day until later in the evening... Today it went to work and shared more stories with its boss and learned more about the site while meeting lots more people and its boss even let it off early since Mistress and sister helped it get its nails done and eyebrows fixed whilst it got its make-up all nice. When it got home it did a few tasks and we went to Costco and got to eat there together which was quite nice. When we got home though things turned for the worse while sister and Mistress spoke with Her friend Malcolm... He mentioned how He could not tell sister was a TG and how beautiful she is and such then mentioned to it that it looked like it did not have its “face on” aka make-up which would of not of been that bad of a comment (still would of hurt a tad) but it was wearing make-up which combined with Him mentioning how good she looked made it feel ugly and awful lowering its self-esteem back to the way it was years ago, it hurt that badly, for a few seconds it even thought about storming out and never looking back. it quickly pulled itself together and distracted itself with Star Wars The Old Republic stuff. Which helped a tiny bit but what happened ached so hard and so much... its voice sucks, its body sucks (size 15 women's shoe, fat, broad shouldered, big build...) its so far from a woman its ridiculous... this one feels so at a loss but its Mistress gives it a purpose everyday and makes it feel useful... so things got better real quick up until it gagged trying to please Master orally and threw up and forced itself to swallow said acid 4 times, until it had to excuse itself to throw up more and to chug water.... it felt so horrible... it wishes it had no gag reflex so very badly... Then even worse for it its sister did a good job with Master and Mistress... it feels so useless and is desperately searching for the purpose again but it did get a break from all these bad thoughts when it focused elsewhere but they all came back whilst it was writing up its journal right now... Master and Mistress choose it, it can't think its useless if it was useless They'd tell it and fix it... They have given it a purpose and love it, it must be doing something right.... sighs its so very, very, very lost... it even ate only half of the burger even though it was still hungry because it needs to loose weight... so badly.... maybe it will be as pretty and passable as sister. its not jealous but so envious of her... she is so lucky to have such a beautiful body, soul, spirit, and voice. Master this evening said He was proud of it, which made it feel so happy and better until it thought, “Was Master doing that just to make it feel better?... what did it do to deserve praise from Him directly?... He never gives any serious direct praise with a smile...” Today has been such a bi-polar day... just let it be over please.... Thank You... Mistress You own it and love it as Your property. You care for and protect it. As Your slave it will submit and serve You. You own its mind and body. You demand devotion and obedience...

10/11/2011
Today is its hatchday and its going pretty well today was a amazing day Mistress Master and sister have been so wonderful to it. Today it is 22 and also its first hatchday under Master and Mistress. Today we got to go to its doctor and sadly it went HORRIBLE... First they did not have any apt on file and it spent 30 minutes trying to figure out what to do and how to fix the situation but in the end they gave it a $6 gift certificate for the cafeteria there and gave it a apt at 10am instead of 9am where it was supposed to be. Then they said its insurance was not working and had to call them and then we got that working. Then the apt was alright pretty normal but he wanted it to do blood tests and he gave it no paperwork to do such... which was weird so it has no idea when to go in... Then we went to the pharmacy and the insurance did not work at first then its insurance said that it has to pay $120.00 for both medications which was RIDICULOUS it was $170.00 but it insurance took off only 50... sighs. So we did not pay for any insurance and we went home. The rest of the day it felt pretty down... what a awful b-day it has turned out to be... Then Mistress got home and things got a little better... We later went out and Mistress blind folded it which was quite nice and technically the dinner at red lobster was to celebrate its hatchday was well so it was not that bad. After the blind fold was off it noticed we were at Dave and Busters which is always pretty fun and it enjoyed itself. Mistress Thank You for making its day better and for giving it its hatchday celebration. Oh and it cant forget its hatchday spankings... OH MY GOD THEY HURT.... 66 spankings 22 from each person including its sister. Mistress and  especially Master hit so hard it cried a little I pain. Mistress You own it and love it as Your property. You care for it and protect it. As Your property it will submit and serve You. You own its mind and body. You demand devotion and obedience.

10/12/2011
Today was the day after its hatchday and it went back to work and its boss surprised it with a card and a breakfast doughnut then later took it out for Costco lunch paid for by her. She has been so kind and wonderful and sweet to it and accepts it as a slave and is happy things are going well for it. When it got home it put away the clean dishes and played a little league of legends with sister and it did some hypnosis with Master and sister and Mistress and things went AMAZINGLY this felt like a hatchday present given to it by Master and Mistress. They put some wonderful triggers in it and we had so very, very much fun. Master and Mistress got to learn tons about hypnosis and this one got to have some wonderful practice on its sister also a tiny bit with Master. we were also given a bit of the wonderful cakes we bought last night for its hatchday desert. Today its been such a amazing day and it made up all the losses from yesterday. it was even given a patch from Mistress so that it has hormones to use which is such a huge blessing. Mistress You own it and love it as Your property. You care for it and protect it. As Your property it will submit and serve You. You own its mind and body. You demand devotion and obedience.

10/13/2011
Today has been a bit of a interesting day, it slept in a little bit and comforted sister a little she seemed a little depressed. Then it went to work for three hours which does not seem like much but it worked its ass off cleaning then it did a test with no studying (was not suppose to study for it.) and it got 100% which was hilarious. Then it came home and spent sometime with sister and played a game or two of league of legends and got caught up on its journals then it and its sister picked up Mistress from the trolly station she was a bit exhausted but no where near as bad as yesterday's exhaustion. Together sister and it made dinner once we got back home and settled and we together happily made beef stroganoff (brown sauce instead of white.) Today was pretty uneventful but we had to discuss more on hypnosis and decided to slow down especially with its sister who was having lots of trouble with it. This one loves the hypnosis and is more than happy we are working on it... hypnosis is like a drug for it... without it for a few days it starts to feel tired and depressed but when it gets some every now and then its more than overjoyed and its so happy to be so conditioned for hypnosis. Mistress and Master Thank You so very very much. Mistress You own it and love it as Your property. You care for it and protect it. As Your property it will submit and serve You. You own its mind and body. You demand devotion and obedience.

10/14/2011
Today it woke up rather early and also multiple many times because of nightmares it had all night about demons and such it was terrible. Then it played a little league of legends with ori and we had bit of a fight but we resolved it by figuring out what to do together other than league of legends.... watch anime. So we plan to watch a bit of anime here n there and less league of legends. Today it has been a bit down and gloom it thinks its dragon needs some free time again hopefully soon... sister and it got to make a wonderful dinner that was super delicious! The chicken was amazing but it got quite full REALLY, REALLY quickly. Master and Mistress also did a little ice play and it felt horrible that not only is it not being turned on by any of the actions but also its pain tolerance is terrible. sister is so very much better than it at that and she even gets hard and is turned on by all of it... it wishes it was so badly because some of it felt really good but pain has sadly never been too much of a pleasure for it... small bits of pain are but to the extent of SM not really. it has always got turned on the most by humiliation and dehumanization and pure dominance. Mistress putting Her foot on its face or using it as a foot stool, or curling up at her feet has always been the most pleasurable sensations. But as always its happy to make Them happy and to be used by Them in anyway that makes Them happy. it feels so terrible though that it begs for the release from any pain long before sister even starts to squeal. Sighs oh wells.... Finally Mistress gave us our new assignment which it has to do a couple of its old assignments from its sister's P.O.V which is frightening and it knows it will do horrible but it will try its best. Mistress You own it and love it as Your property. You care for it and protect it. As Your property it will submit and serve You. You own its mind and body. You demand devotion and obedience.

10/15/2011
Today it woke up expecting another day of training but it was surprised to find out that as a matter of fact it was to be its first day alone on the job. It went quite well and it did better than most of the other guards apparently because it noticed lots of things they did not notice for weeks in a single day. Just goes to show how hard a slave works for its Master and Mistress especially when in public because everything it does reflects back onto Them. its such a happy slave for its wonderful Master and Mistress. Mistress was even kind enough to get the game Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic for us all to play. It will be a good speak into what the new MMORPG Star Wars The Old Republic will be like when it comes out and we all play it together... going to be SOOO very, very much fun squeeze... its been thinking about about its assignment and lets just say that its so very happy that it has until next Sunday (not tomorrow) to finish it up because it will take a long while. Sadly though today it did not spend tooo much time with Them as Their slave it had lots of “free time” and work so it did not get much of a chance to do anything to make Them really happy. its sure that tomorrow it will get plenty of things to do to make Them happy and serve Them well, and be deserving of the words “Good Girl.” its dragon has been clawing at its head to come out because it wishes to meet its sister and just have some “time out.” Master and Mistress's arguing has been putting a massive strain especially as of late with yelling back and forth and such and it knows and understands most of it is play and the play stuff it has not problem with but when it gets serious it really hurts this one and brings back terrible memories of its early family before its mother and father broke up and got a divorce. Mistress You own it and love it as Your property. You care for it and protect it. As Your property it will submit and serve You. You own its mind and body. You demand devotion and obedience.

10/16/2011
Today has been a interesting day went to work and looked up bumper stickers, tattoos, and videos on slavery most of the day. Really want to see a good film or read a good book on consensual slavery. Something involving internal enslavement. When it got back home it was welcomed by Master Mistress and sister before we went out to go do the laundry and it was quite fun to do it with its sister, as usual. When we got back we got to wrestle around with Master and Mistress specifically to take down Master... it was fun but it got sooo close to its dragon coming out and it was forced to hold her back quite a bit. Other than that we made dinner and put away the finished clothing and it worked a little on its phone and now its doing its journal by Mistress's feet, its favorite place in the entire world. While we put away the clothes it mentioned to sister if she had the feeling yet that it had a while ago... About how deeply it felt about not owning a single thing and even the clothing on its back doesn't feel like it belongs to it anymore and its only borrowing them from Mistress. it also spoke briefly about how its dragon spirit feels about her and how desperate she wishes to meet her. it also felt something while driving to work about how close it is to Mistress and if She left or abandoned it or took Her collar from it how horrible and how much of a shell it would be... She owns its heart and soul now. it feels hurt and worthless without Her presence each and everyday. No where near as bad is it when it knows She will return or visa versa when it returns from work. The days though that She is late or it feels disconnected from Her at work it starts a cycle where it breaks down... it knows if it was without Her for several days straight it would be lost, confused, and worthless as a person... Mistress You own everything, it owns nothing it knows this and this is the true freedom it has sought all of its life whether or not it knew it right away. Mistress Thank You for everything You have given it, You are a angel, a savior, its strength. Mistress it looks up to You for everything now Mistress it would not have it any other way ever again.
Mistress You own it and love it as Your property. You care for it and protect it. As Your property it will submit and serve You. You own its mind and body. You demand devotion and obedience.

Destiny 10/10/2011 - 10/16/2011

10-10-11

Journal, it has many things it needs to tell you about, so much has happened today it can hardly believe it. it would like to go into a lot of detail but it is already quite late and there is much it still needs to get done tonight (and it has nearly hypnotized itself to sleep from what it is working on, but it will do its best to record the very many interesting things that have happened today) OK, well it guesses first it should mention some of the things that happened last night, mainly that we got to have a girls night in (eeeeee!) doing each others nails and watching the Life of Brian, which was so much fun, afterwards however Mistress showed it her friends on Facebook which was fun itself but later when she started talking to it about forced slaves she had been in contact with and even let it see some of her conversations with them it got really upset…then this morning we went and did groceries and such and sister was also telling it some very sad stories about other forced slaves and it just made it so, so upset, it felt like it was in danger, and even though it knows our relationship isn’t like that it still just felt terrified and had to calm the just panicked ‘fight-or-flight’ animistic response surging up from within it, not even in relation to anything, especially not Mistress as She was sitting across from it as it was being told this, just in a generalized way, and it especially felt really stupid and like it was bad and wrong and perhaps deserved to have something bad happen to it when, after it said it only came over because it felt like it trusted Mistress and both She and sister said ‘well yeah but these people are trained to get them to trust you, you can’t tell at all, that’s the whole point’ and it was just felt like so completely having no idea how to respond, the most horrible feeling, like it was wrong for trusting Mistress because it truly couldn’t have known and it was going to end up dead or pursuing its path but yet the very person telling it all of this is the One who is asking it to trust Her with everything…and it just felt so ‘damned-if-you-do-damned-if-you-don’t’ and stupid because it actually does trust Her and love Her and at the same time stupid for believing that all of this was just like some kind of very sweet game to help people get to deeper states of intimacy and connection than is possible through normal relationship dynamics when people are actually being maimed and killed because of ideas like this, it just turned its stomach and it felt like it didn’t want anything to do with it, but…it stepped away for a second and felt better and when it walked back it realized it did trust Her and Them and that if it was being led like a lamb to the slaughter, even if it couldn’t tell from having talked to Master and Mistress for so long and feeling so much like it could tell that They are trust worthy, then at least it would go down with a genuinely pure feeling of love and devotion in its heart. Anyway it needs to get off this line, the rest of the day was actually wonderful and trying to tease out these emotions is just bringing it down. We came back and played some games and looked at cool star wars videos and then it got to talk to Mistress best friend who was very, very nice to this one and seemed like a really cool guy, it felt so embarrassed the way he was praising this one and it was also fun since he was kind of at arms length about the nature of our relationship and it was fun kind of alluding to it like we all had a naughty secret together (which it supposes we do) but later on it felt terrible about the praising though because apparently sister was being hurt because she felt like she was being compared unfavorably which is so not true, it hurts this one to think that its beloved sister is hurt by the way it looks, when sis first told this one that its presence made her feel less than it felt more ashamed than ever, it just wanted to run away because (and this feeling is kind of a root of its submissiveness) the last thing it ever wants to do is hurt anything and especially not someone it cares for like its sister. Anyway it tried to make its sis feel better from this but its afraid it just made it worse, its so not used to being compared to favorably, it was always put down so much growing up that it isn’t even used to the notion that others might be envious of it…it will strive to do better and be more empathetic. Anyway at least Mistress picked up on it afterwards and made everything all better, it still feels so guilty for it and wishes it knew how to tone itself down or be less flashy so it doesn’t make anyone else feel bad. it also got to talk to its friend who it hadn’t in a while and he was very upset because he was having relationship problems and also because he missed this one very much, this one was his only really close friend that related to him on his level and that made it very sad that it had hurt him too. it was so strange, it didn’t feel really appreciated at all back home but as soon as it made a motion to leave everyone started freaking out…its all so confusing to this one. Anyway, but then for real things got a lot better, Mistress and Master took Their slaves into the bedroom and did all sorts of absolutely wonderful things to us, showing this one many new kinds of play it had never experienced before, when it got unbound after it had come it felt in such pure bliss, it felt so very very happy and its aura was actually wide open and radiating energy across a huge area in a very strange and wonderful way, it was truly in heaven and felt so close to them, like we were all one. it could go into detail about the specifics about what was done to this one but it would just be a waste of words, what was important and what it really felt was that through the pleasure and the pain it was taken to a place it really has only been perhaps once or twice before, thanks to its beloved Master and Mistress, it just, *argh*, it wishes it knew how to describe what it was feeling, its so frustrating, it was just so perfect, it felt like it was exactly where it belonged, the way They made its body vibrate, the looks in Their eyes…it wishes it knew how to tell you journal but it will just wax poetic fruitlessly if it tries…afterwards it was disappointed in itself a little when it was given to the opportunity to service Master and Mistress, it feels like it didn’t do a very good job and wasn’t very pleasing to Them even though They reassured it and gave it good ratings afterwards, then we all kind of hung out talking about fantasy games and Mistress fed this one ice cream which was so wonderful. Anyway this entry has gone on far longer than it intended and it still has work to do so it will say goodnight and hopes that through many more days like today it will somehow find words to describe the feelings that Mistress and Master are awakening in its heart.

10-11-11

Journal today was it’s sister kajira’s birthday! YAY! it was a very interesting day with many twists and turns. it thought it was just going to have to wait at home for her to get back from her appointment but it was awoken by her asking it to come with. Looking back it is *so* very glad that it went with her and was able to help her out, otherwise she probably would’ve been more upset when things kind of went wrong at the doctors office. it won’t belabor the details too much because she will probably record most of them in her journal but because of the doctor’s screw up and the lame insurance sis couldn’t get her hormones and she was really upset and thinking that her hatch day was going to be bad like apparently the past few had been for her, it made this one so very sad because it cares for its sis so very much and wanted her special day to be very very happy so it worked really hard to keep her cheered up.  Thankfully once we got home things were better, she got a hypnosis session from a professional hypnotist and it seemed to be really really effective for her and it made it so happy for her. We played some games and then Mistress finally got home and made it all better by figuring out a way sis could get her medicine (online) and letting her use Her patches until it arrived, it knew Mistress would know how to make everything better and it was so glad, from that things went so much better. We had an insane tickle fight in which this one was pretty much decimated by her (but it’ll admit, it very much enjoyed it) then Mistress and Master took us to Dave and Busters which was really fun, we got to all share dinner, Mistress used sis’s new trigger just as the server was walking up and she came very hard, it was so cute because she was so embarrassed but i’m pretty sure she still enjoyed it, and then we got to play a bunch of fun games, this one and its sis almost beat all of a shooting game which was super fun but we saved our last tokens for other games, then she won jackpot on one of those spinney games on the first try! The tickets just kept coming, then we played deal or no deal and we ended up earning a lot of tickets for Mistress and Masters_’ collection, and it was so happy and excited just walking around in such a lively place with it’s sis and Master and Mistress. We went and got some cake for her which Mistress and Master will hopefully feed to her from Their hands tomorrow and then when we got home sis got to have her 22 birthday smacks from all three of us (this one was very surprised it got to join in, its were pretty ineffective especially since she had just been hit by Master’s legendary ass-smacks but it was still a lot of fun) and then Mistress and Master used her triggers to make her come so many times in rapid-fire it zapped her cute little head a little, it was so sweet when she was exhausted she just slumped over into this ones arms, it cuddled with her as she slid to sleep and it made this one so happy. it was so glad it and its sis got to spend most of the day together and it was able to keep her company, keep her from sliding down into a bad space when we hit speed bumps and hopefully was able to lift her up a bit, it feels so very close to it’s sister, it loves her so much and hopes it was able to make her hatch day a little brighter, *sigh* it doesn’t know what else to say, it thinks when it was all over she had a good birthday and it knows from this one’s perspective that it’s heart just absolutely melted when she fell asleep in this one’s arms, it can’t imagine being apart from her or from Master and Mistress…it realized tonight that it really feels like we are a family and so close to all of us, we had so very much fun, it knows this one was just so happy all day today. Happy hatch day sis!

10-12-11

Journal today was a very interesting day. Early in the day this one did chores and such, and when it was done it had the opportunity to do it’s magickal work for a little while, which was very refreshing and really changed this one’s energy flow for the whole day. it won’t go into too much detail though because most of it is recorded in it’s magickal journal but it will say it contacted the local O.T.O. body to see about seeking the Initiation. Then in the mid afternoon it’s sis got home and we went and picked up Mistress, who was very tired and hot and dreading all the work She had to do at home, so after dinner sis gave Her a back massage and this one gave Her a leg rub, which was very nice, it hoped it made Her feel a little better. While She was working on Her homework we all sat around and watched TV mostly, but later it got the chance to help with Her work a little bit, it hopes it did an ok job. Later though we worked a *lot* on hypnosis, it kind of started when Mistress was mad about what the other hypnotist did to sis and cut off her contact with him, which was wise considering the kind of messages he was sending. sis tried to hypnotize Master but it didn’t really take, then she hypnotized this one and it was very effective and so very pleasurable to be back down there again. Afterwards we watched many hypnosis videos and sis began showing Mistress how to hypnotize us, and tried many more complicated maneuvers with this one. Honestly, it didn’t think they would work but somehow they did, thinking back it doesn’t feel like they would work in the moment, so maybe it was actually still hypnotized from the first induction and never came all the way back up. Anyway apparently Master and Mistress are going to use triggered rubber bands to control us, and Mistress also gave it a session where She connected it’s feelings of slave-hood to Them to it’s public collar. Right afterwards things got weird though. it doesn’t know what happened, but while Mistress was saying something it was like a switch flipped in it’s head and while before it had been glowing with happiness suddenly it felt this huge drain of negative energy in a sphere all around it, like a black hole, and all it could think was that it would never be able to be good enough for Mistress and Master. it’s actually rather upset about it, but They didn’t say it did anything wrong, but it’s just totally in a funk now. it hopes it will feel better after some sleep. 

10-13-11

Journal it doesn’t have a whole, whole lot to report to you today. The night is not quite over but right now Mistress and Master and sister are listening to hypnosis files to try to reprogram this one. This morning it woke up from very, very interesting dreams still feeling like it’s head was buzzing and it was really upset, it just felt like crap, it looked at the chore list and just didn’t want to do anything at all, it curled up on the floor and cried. it just felt so lost and inadequate and like it had no idea what the hell it was doing. But sis noticed and she made it feel better and reassured it. it cleaned up a bit and was feeling better because it was able to be doing something for Mistress and Master but then it’s grandparents called and made it feel completely awful, it was really upset, but afterwards it was very happy because when Master saw it was upset He was so very sweet to it, He asked it about it’s family and talked about His and we talked a bit about it’s beliefs and then He shared a special book that had been really trans-formative for Him and it was such a wake up call for this one, reading the book’s synopsis online reminded it of many of the things it had learned long ago but had totally forgotten, it was really refreshing to come to that place. Then we watched some anime and it felt tons better, it felt so close to Master and it was really happy for that. Then sis came home and we argued about anime and watched silly videos online, shortly after we picked up Mistress and then She comforted it about why it was feeling upset before, since Master had apparently heard it talking to it’s sister, and it felt a lot better afterwards. Then it got a chance to throw together dinner and it was glad it didn’t do a half bad job, but the interesting part came when it was forced to eat without utensils. it was a *lot* more humiliating than this one expected it to be, but after it’s internal resistance broke down it enjoyed it a little. Anyway then we played chess and Mistress beat it twice, and now it’s waiting to be hypnotized again. Honestly it is beginning to be concerned about the way we are doing the hypnosis. Even though it wants to be hypnotized for Them and do whatever They tell it to, it can feel mental walls coming up inside of it, like there is a small civil war being incited in it’s consciousness and all of this is causing it’s overall resistance to hypnosis to increase. it kinds of wishes we could just take a little break from the hypnosis, it’s mind feels kind of frayed, honestly it was hoping we would get to do traditional slave training at some point but They have not decided to yet, and it’s making it hard, since the hypnosis has little to be associated with. it feels so close to Them, it desires Them and desires to serve Them so much…it is willing to do whatever They ask but it doesn’t know how much farther it can go down this line before something snaps. it thinks it would be easier if it was just conditioned in it’s normal consciousness and trained for Them, then the hypnosis would have something to be grafted onto…but it will try to persevere and do the best it can…it just hates that now it is kind of afraid of trance, whereas before it was such a pleasurable place. it doesn’t know how this change happened…maybe it’s just in a bad mood today and is pooh-poohing everything. it will put it’s trust in Mistress and Master’s decisions.

10-14-11

Journal today it doesn’t have too much to talk to you about, but it was an interesting day none the less. it woke up really, really tired but it felt better later, it didn’t do much until Mistress got home, She and sister had gotten a bunch of her stuff out of storage (although apparently there is still a good bit left) anyway we played magic the gathering for a while, and it lost very badly both times. Then things got really interesting. We were told to strip and were manacled and tied to the bed. this one didn’t know what was going on until it was almost time. Master and Mistress began playing with both of us with the ice dildos, they were extremely painful but also pleasurable in their own way, unfortunately neither of us could take them all the way. Perhaps next time we should try getting ready with ordinary dildos first, but anyway, They continued to tease us with them and with nipple clamps, which this one had never experienced before but were *much* more painful than this one expected, but it really rather enjoyed them, it suspects they will get easier to take and become more pleasurable. Then we just kind of horsed around for a bit and it was really fun when Mistress directed us how to make dinner, it was absolutely delicious. She then gave us our assignment which She had been alluding to for some time, rewriting the ‘10 questions’ and ‘1000 word retrospective’ assignment but from each other’s perspective. it expects it will be very difficult for both of us, but Mistress and Master very graciously allowed us to confer a little bit on the assignment, which this one didn’t expect. Anyway everyone but Master and this one has gone to bed so it expects little else will happen tonight. it is so glad it got over the bad mood it had yesterday, it really must have been hormones because it has felt fantastic all day. Unfortunately it’s sister seems to be really upset today, even more so than yesterday. it has no idea what’s going on, but she doesn’t seem to want this one to comfort her so it will just hope things will get better. it hopes it is not this one’s fault, it seems this one inadvertently makes her upset often, and it hates that so much. it really will make sure she tells it tomorrow if she’s not feeling better, it can’t stand to see her upset, it cares for her so much.

10-15-11

Today was a nice, lazy sort of day. it doesn’t feel like much happened at all. it slept exceptionally well and had many, many strange and interesting dreams. When it awoke it got a chance to make breakfast for Mistress, it didn’t do a very good job but it learned from it and it thinks it will do much better next time. it got permission to attend the next Gnostic Mass at the Golden Lotus Oasis and so is very happy that it will be able to begin connecting with other Thelemites and begin the process of it’s Initiation. When it heard this and Mistress gave it some free time it tried to study Book 4 to prepare but it had a hard time concentrating -- it could hear Master and Mistress fooling around in the next room and for some reason just couldn’t keep itself calm at all, it kept trying to focus on what it was reading but its mind was filled with all kinds of dirty thoughts. it’s back was hurting a bit (not from how it slept, just in the usual way) so it laid down to try to calm itself, and just as it pretty much had calmed itself down Mistress called it into the room and it was sooo very grateful to be used by Master and Mistress, They let it finish and afterwards it was pretty much in lala-land for almost an hour, it was so nice. When sis got back we went out, we went to many different places which was fun, but it was very frustrated because it kept making mistakes driving, it is ordinarily a very good driver but not only is it not used to the roads out here but it gets exponentially worse the more people it feels like are watching it. it had to try very, very hard to keep itself calm and not express any inappropriate emotions. Anyway it felt a whole lot better when we finally got home and got something to eat. From that time until now we’ve all pretty much just been at our computers playing games, Mistress bought KOTOR which it is very grateful for, it always kind of avoided the game not because it thought it wasn’t good but it just doesn’t like that type of game very much, but it forced itself to since sis was so excited about it, it will help us prepare for the new game and it was a gift from Mistress so it should appreciate it, but after playing it a bit it actually started to enjoy it and finds itself looking forward to playing again. Anyway over the course of the day it has been banging it’s head against its writing stuff trying to figure out what it’s supposed to do, which may have been the source of it’s frustrations. it just wishes so badly it had someone to help guide it in doing the writing, it’s not that it can’t do the writing it just doesn’t know how to manage it’s time at all, it can write anything but it never knows what to write when. it has signed up to a writing buddy matchmaking service so that may be of help, but it’s not sure. Anyway all that is kind of irrelevant, we’re sitting here still on our computers doing random stuff but will probably be going to bed in not too long. All in all it was a quiet sort of day but thankfully everything seems to be pretty much normal -- and it is very thankful that it has a sense now of what normal is in Mistress and Master’s household and is at last beginning to feel that it belongs in Their normal, which is an incredible comfort for it. it wonders what will happen tomorrow?

10-16-11

Weee today was a super fun day! in the morning Mistress taught it how to make pancakes (which it did okay on, even if it did break an egg) then Mistress and this one played MTG (it was decimated again, but at least it was able to hold it’s own) it did a little more housekeeping and when sis came back we did the laundry which took most of the day, intermittently playing KOTOR some more and other silly games. it was glad while we were doing laundry it got a chance to reconnect with sis a bit, due to her work schedule we’ve been kind of distant for the past few days. We had a super fun tickle fight (more like a tickle torture since it was just held down and tickled by Mistress and sis who are both tickle-invulnerable, but it won’t pretend that it didn’t enjoy it hehe) although with the cost that the chain of it’s public collar got broken, it was walking around in the kitchen for a few minutes while it was talking to it’s sis it just got this incredible sense that something was missing, it was kind of frantic looking for it, but thankfully we found the pendant and Mistress gave it a new chain to use temporarily until we get some stronger ones. Then we made these super awesome hot dogs that Mistress got for us. Uhm, not much else has happened, we’ve been watching TV and Mistress has decided to let it use her Kobo for the next little while so it can read the Gor series, it’s super cool and it can’t wait to use it. We’re probably going to keep watching TV and relaxing for the rest of the night since Mistress will have to go to bed in not too long, but it’s super glad, it was kind of tense earlier feeling like it should be working on it’s writing or something but sis told it that it should relax and enjoy itself and so that’s what it’s going to try to do for the rest of the night. So in short journal things are going great and it’s in a wonderful mood right now, and is very excited to begin a new week tomorrow and see what is to come! :D