Kajira 10/10/2011 - 10/16/2011

10/10/2011
Hey journal its the day before its hatchday and today was a pretty meh day until later in the evening... Today it went to work and shared more stories with its boss and learned more about the site while meeting lots more people and its boss even let it off early since Mistress and sister helped it get its nails done and eyebrows fixed whilst it got its make-up all nice. When it got home it did a few tasks and we went to Costco and got to eat there together which was quite nice. When we got home though things turned for the worse while sister and Mistress spoke with Her friend Malcolm... He mentioned how He could not tell sister was a TG and how beautiful she is and such then mentioned to it that it looked like it did not have its “face on” aka make-up which would of not of been that bad of a comment (still would of hurt a tad) but it was wearing make-up which combined with Him mentioning how good she looked made it feel ugly and awful lowering its self-esteem back to the way it was years ago, it hurt that badly, for a few seconds it even thought about storming out and never looking back. it quickly pulled itself together and distracted itself with Star Wars The Old Republic stuff. Which helped a tiny bit but what happened ached so hard and so much... its voice sucks, its body sucks (size 15 women's shoe, fat, broad shouldered, big build...) its so far from a woman its ridiculous... this one feels so at a loss but its Mistress gives it a purpose everyday and makes it feel useful... so things got better real quick up until it gagged trying to please Master orally and threw up and forced itself to swallow said acid 4 times, until it had to excuse itself to throw up more and to chug water.... it felt so horrible... it wishes it had no gag reflex so very badly... Then even worse for it its sister did a good job with Master and Mistress... it feels so useless and is desperately searching for the purpose again but it did get a break from all these bad thoughts when it focused elsewhere but they all came back whilst it was writing up its journal right now... Master and Mistress choose it, it can't think its useless if it was useless They'd tell it and fix it... They have given it a purpose and love it, it must be doing something right.... sighs its so very, very, very lost... it even ate only half of the burger even though it was still hungry because it needs to loose weight... so badly.... maybe it will be as pretty and passable as sister. its not jealous but so envious of her... she is so lucky to have such a beautiful body, soul, spirit, and voice. Master this evening said He was proud of it, which made it feel so happy and better until it thought, “Was Master doing that just to make it feel better?... what did it do to deserve praise from Him directly?... He never gives any serious direct praise with a smile...” Today has been such a bi-polar day... just let it be over please.... Thank You... Mistress You own it and love it as Your property. You care for and protect it. As Your slave it will submit and serve You. You own its mind and body. You demand devotion and obedience...

10/11/2011
Today is its hatchday and its going pretty well today was a amazing day Mistress Master and sister have been so wonderful to it. Today it is 22 and also its first hatchday under Master and Mistress. Today we got to go to its doctor and sadly it went HORRIBLE... First they did not have any apt on file and it spent 30 minutes trying to figure out what to do and how to fix the situation but in the end they gave it a $6 gift certificate for the cafeteria there and gave it a apt at 10am instead of 9am where it was supposed to be. Then they said its insurance was not working and had to call them and then we got that working. Then the apt was alright pretty normal but he wanted it to do blood tests and he gave it no paperwork to do such... which was weird so it has no idea when to go in... Then we went to the pharmacy and the insurance did not work at first then its insurance said that it has to pay $120.00 for both medications which was RIDICULOUS it was $170.00 but it insurance took off only 50... sighs. So we did not pay for any insurance and we went home. The rest of the day it felt pretty down... what a awful b-day it has turned out to be... Then Mistress got home and things got a little better... We later went out and Mistress blind folded it which was quite nice and technically the dinner at red lobster was to celebrate its hatchday was well so it was not that bad. After the blind fold was off it noticed we were at Dave and Busters which is always pretty fun and it enjoyed itself. Mistress Thank You for making its day better and for giving it its hatchday celebration. Oh and it cant forget its hatchday spankings... OH MY GOD THEY HURT.... 66 spankings 22 from each person including its sister. Mistress and  especially Master hit so hard it cried a little I pain. Mistress You own it and love it as Your property. You care for it and protect it. As Your property it will submit and serve You. You own its mind and body. You demand devotion and obedience.

10/12/2011
Today was the day after its hatchday and it went back to work and its boss surprised it with a card and a breakfast doughnut then later took it out for Costco lunch paid for by her. She has been so kind and wonderful and sweet to it and accepts it as a slave and is happy things are going well for it. When it got home it put away the clean dishes and played a little league of legends with sister and it did some hypnosis with Master and sister and Mistress and things went AMAZINGLY this felt like a hatchday present given to it by Master and Mistress. They put some wonderful triggers in it and we had so very, very much fun. Master and Mistress got to learn tons about hypnosis and this one got to have some wonderful practice on its sister also a tiny bit with Master. we were also given a bit of the wonderful cakes we bought last night for its hatchday desert. Today its been such a amazing day and it made up all the losses from yesterday. it was even given a patch from Mistress so that it has hormones to use which is such a huge blessing. Mistress You own it and love it as Your property. You care for it and protect it. As Your property it will submit and serve You. You own its mind and body. You demand devotion and obedience.

10/13/2011
Today has been a bit of a interesting day, it slept in a little bit and comforted sister a little she seemed a little depressed. Then it went to work for three hours which does not seem like much but it worked its ass off cleaning then it did a test with no studying (was not suppose to study for it.) and it got 100% which was hilarious. Then it came home and spent sometime with sister and played a game or two of league of legends and got caught up on its journals then it and its sister picked up Mistress from the trolly station she was a bit exhausted but no where near as bad as yesterday's exhaustion. Together sister and it made dinner once we got back home and settled and we together happily made beef stroganoff (brown sauce instead of white.) Today was pretty uneventful but we had to discuss more on hypnosis and decided to slow down especially with its sister who was having lots of trouble with it. This one loves the hypnosis and is more than happy we are working on it... hypnosis is like a drug for it... without it for a few days it starts to feel tired and depressed but when it gets some every now and then its more than overjoyed and its so happy to be so conditioned for hypnosis. Mistress and Master Thank You so very very much. Mistress You own it and love it as Your property. You care for it and protect it. As Your property it will submit and serve You. You own its mind and body. You demand devotion and obedience.

10/14/2011
Today it woke up rather early and also multiple many times because of nightmares it had all night about demons and such it was terrible. Then it played a little league of legends with ori and we had bit of a fight but we resolved it by figuring out what to do together other than league of legends.... watch anime. So we plan to watch a bit of anime here n there and less league of legends. Today it has been a bit down and gloom it thinks its dragon needs some free time again hopefully soon... sister and it got to make a wonderful dinner that was super delicious! The chicken was amazing but it got quite full REALLY, REALLY quickly. Master and Mistress also did a little ice play and it felt horrible that not only is it not being turned on by any of the actions but also its pain tolerance is terrible. sister is so very much better than it at that and she even gets hard and is turned on by all of it... it wishes it was so badly because some of it felt really good but pain has sadly never been too much of a pleasure for it... small bits of pain are but to the extent of SM not really. it has always got turned on the most by humiliation and dehumanization and pure dominance. Mistress putting Her foot on its face or using it as a foot stool, or curling up at her feet has always been the most pleasurable sensations. But as always its happy to make Them happy and to be used by Them in anyway that makes Them happy. it feels so terrible though that it begs for the release from any pain long before sister even starts to squeal. Sighs oh wells.... Finally Mistress gave us our new assignment which it has to do a couple of its old assignments from its sister's P.O.V which is frightening and it knows it will do horrible but it will try its best. Mistress You own it and love it as Your property. You care for it and protect it. As Your property it will submit and serve You. You own its mind and body. You demand devotion and obedience.

10/15/2011
Today it woke up expecting another day of training but it was surprised to find out that as a matter of fact it was to be its first day alone on the job. It went quite well and it did better than most of the other guards apparently because it noticed lots of things they did not notice for weeks in a single day. Just goes to show how hard a slave works for its Master and Mistress especially when in public because everything it does reflects back onto Them. its such a happy slave for its wonderful Master and Mistress. Mistress was even kind enough to get the game Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic for us all to play. It will be a good speak into what the new MMORPG Star Wars The Old Republic will be like when it comes out and we all play it together... going to be SOOO very, very much fun squeeze... its been thinking about about its assignment and lets just say that its so very happy that it has until next Sunday (not tomorrow) to finish it up because it will take a long while. Sadly though today it did not spend tooo much time with Them as Their slave it had lots of “free time” and work so it did not get much of a chance to do anything to make Them really happy. its sure that tomorrow it will get plenty of things to do to make Them happy and serve Them well, and be deserving of the words “Good Girl.” its dragon has been clawing at its head to come out because it wishes to meet its sister and just have some “time out.” Master and Mistress's arguing has been putting a massive strain especially as of late with yelling back and forth and such and it knows and understands most of it is play and the play stuff it has not problem with but when it gets serious it really hurts this one and brings back terrible memories of its early family before its mother and father broke up and got a divorce. Mistress You own it and love it as Your property. You care for it and protect it. As Your property it will submit and serve You. You own its mind and body. You demand devotion and obedience.

10/16/2011
Today has been a interesting day went to work and looked up bumper stickers, tattoos, and videos on slavery most of the day. Really want to see a good film or read a good book on consensual slavery. Something involving internal enslavement. When it got back home it was welcomed by Master Mistress and sister before we went out to go do the laundry and it was quite fun to do it with its sister, as usual. When we got back we got to wrestle around with Master and Mistress specifically to take down Master... it was fun but it got sooo close to its dragon coming out and it was forced to hold her back quite a bit. Other than that we made dinner and put away the finished clothing and it worked a little on its phone and now its doing its journal by Mistress's feet, its favorite place in the entire world. While we put away the clothes it mentioned to sister if she had the feeling yet that it had a while ago... About how deeply it felt about not owning a single thing and even the clothing on its back doesn't feel like it belongs to it anymore and its only borrowing them from Mistress. it also spoke briefly about how its dragon spirit feels about her and how desperate she wishes to meet her. it also felt something while driving to work about how close it is to Mistress and if She left or abandoned it or took Her collar from it how horrible and how much of a shell it would be... She owns its heart and soul now. it feels hurt and worthless without Her presence each and everyday. No where near as bad is it when it knows She will return or visa versa when it returns from work. The days though that She is late or it feels disconnected from Her at work it starts a cycle where it breaks down... it knows if it was without Her for several days straight it would be lost, confused, and worthless as a person... Mistress You own everything, it owns nothing it knows this and this is the true freedom it has sought all of its life whether or not it knew it right away. Mistress Thank You for everything You have given it, You are a angel, a savior, its strength. Mistress it looks up to You for everything now Mistress it would not have it any other way ever again.
Mistress You own it and love it as Your property. You care for it and protect it. As Your property it will submit and serve You. You own its mind and body. You demand devotion and obedience.