08/29/2011
This one did not get much sleep, Mistress was woken up by Master all evening, which in turn woke this one up many times, and it got so very hot it had trouble sleeping. Then when it woke up it got the dishes done and that was a task on its own especially with so many dishes that were not rinsed so it had to do LOTS of scrubbing. Then later it had to go to work and it started out “okay” but it felt a massive need to be around its Master and Mistress and it felt like a worthless soul without Them. It even tripped and fell down a couple stairs and while it did its public collar fell off, it did not care if it sustained any injuries. This one ran straight to the collar and picked it up... something on the inside broke and it thought about the feeling if Master or Mistress ever release Their collar from it.... it did not know what to so it broke down crying a little wishing it was at home in its proper place... This one spoke to Mistress in a quite a lot of the situation and She figured out a way to fix this problem. She gave it a tag to wear on its keychain and to always look at the tag anytime it feels alone from Them. This one has been given the task to remember this tag word for word while it works and also that alone should fix some if not most of all the problems it deals with everyday there. Sadly this one would LOVE to write more but its eyes keep trying to shut themselves, and it keeps nodding off without even thinking about it. This one does though hope for a long journal tomorrow.
08/30/2011
This one woke up very, very well rested and straightened up the house and did its normal tasks until it was done then played a few rounds of league of legends before it went off to work... At work it used the tag that was given to it and it remembered multiple ways of the words and it helped this one sooo very very much at work... its so happy to have found a way to make work not so hellish... This one is so happy to be finished with work for a couple of days so it can serve Master and Mistress happily, it has Missed Them so much the last few days, it needs Them to thrive... This one could not figure out much else to say so it thought it would write about what it went over in its head a few hours earlier... it went back and remembered its life as a pet... when it was about 2005 and it was 14 years old it found a game called SL (second life) and it learned what being a pet was to a dominate... it was taught many things the proper words and how to use them and many many more things, it saw that this is something important to it and it search up and down for a dominate, it found someone named Darian (the man that tried to take it back when he found out this one was a pet again.) he was so nice and kind and gave this one what it needed at the time online and even made it vow that no matter what happens no one owns this one fully until it receives a collaring ceremony... but sadly over time he got really distracted with other things and he ignored this one and it begged and pleaded him almost on a daily basis for some kind of attention, punishment, anything it could be anything even a hello and a sorry that ive been busy but no... he did not give this one a single light of day so it cried its eyes out and his boyfriend took this one in as he broke up with him... what a mistake... he was sweet and treated this one like a pet as well but he used this one for his own gain without a single care to this one... he had another boyfriend he was getting together with and he constantly asked this one to give him money for his pay as you go phone, so he could talk to this one and him but sadly he never talked to this one but once a week (500 dollars gone,) and later on when he told his boyfriend he had a pet his boyfriend did not agree so without another thought he dropped this one like a bag of bricks... it was destroyed it thought no one could ever love it and let it love back while serving them happily like that again... it even tried a Gorean lifestyle for a little while on SL it learned so much of the ways as a kajira there, its mindset even changed quite strongly and it knew it needed something like this in real life... but it got afraid... it was far too terrified to really seek that out... that is when it found its first real boyfriend and it purged itself of everything D/s... at first... This one went through high school dealing with being a transgender and with having a boyfriend that was across the country... so when it graduated it decided to move in with him... it drove all the way across America to North Carolina.... it started out great but it missed having a owner so badly... so very, very badly... it started to go back onto SL and it found a harem that belonged to a wonderful woman that it became a part of, it was very nice, it even got to the point of being a alpha pet which was nice until one day she was gone her account deleted with out any warning... it panicked and found a friend of hers that knew her in real life, apparently she had a massive mental breakdown and left SL but she left a message with him to give to her pets that she loved and cared for all of us so much but right now she had to deal with real life and that she was so very sorry. He then told this one that she had a extra message for it and told it that she loved this one so much, it was so devoted and such a good obedient pet to her and hopes that this one will find another owner soon... well sadly it did not it was so afraid to upset its boyfriend so it didn't do anything for so very long a couple months later it broke and searched for another online Dominate it found a few hypnodoms and a few randoms that took it in and had it dress up for them and do things on web cam... it is ashamed about the things it did but it needed desperately to serve someone... After a few more months it broke down and talked to its boyfriend, he understood and tried to do it for this one but sadly he was a submissive as well and could not quite do it... After a little while longer it broke up with him since the relationship felt more like a father and daughter then two people that loved each other dearly as partners, it moved back to California and tried college and keep a hypnodom at the same time, he did so many wonderful things to this ones little brain and it loves serving under hypnosis so much its such a amazing feeling but sadly it felt alone in real life especially with being alone in a dorm so when college did not work out because of its depression it was falling deeper and deeper into it was offered to stay in a apartment with a friend, it worked out alright at first but it quickly went down the drain when it started to date its roommate and he was really really against any D/s relationship because of his past... seventeen years as a slave and once it was over he realized the horrors of what he was in... sadly that did nothing but fuel its need to dominance and control... it made mistakes here and there and put itself into debt, and the relationship was falling apart and even with its $13.50 an hour job it could not afford to live there. This one searched for anything to fix it so it searched desperately for anyone to dominate it... it found someone online that was really controling and dominate at first but... then he demanded it to call in a prostitute so it would have sex with her on its webcam... at work.... it could not obey and He... released this one angerly.... This one felt like it should of just obeyed but it was worried about so many things and thats when it found its last Master... Master Soma... He was a wonderful man that this one still looks up to. He is a Master in real life as well as SL and he helped this one though so much of its depression, it was able to serve Him so very happily... He even had a tighter, stricter leash with this one then its Mistress and Master even, it kind of wishes They were a bit stricter and held a much tighter leash with it but its happy where its at... Sadly he lived in Paris and his online other pet lived in Germany so it rarely saw them both online... it discussed with Them how much it felt it needed a real life D/s relationship it needed to serve someone so very very badly in real life.... that is when it decided to check its old websites... including collarme.... it put a ad there quite long ago and it filtered through hundreds of messages until it found Master Fred and Mistress Kristen... Ever since it ment Them it has been so very, very happy. its life has been getting better and better every day, it may have to work on the side for Them but maybe in the future it can serve Them completely and totally in the house so it does not have to work, but it happily understands that it needs to for Them... This one is so happy to be in its proper place finally in its life... it will never look back again. Thank You Master and Mistress.
08/31/2011
This one loves its Master and Mistress so very, very much.... it wants nothing out of this world anymore... it doesn't want money... it doesn't want a career... all it cares about is Their happiness... its wonderful Master and Mistress... it sheds a few tears as it gives up its life as a free person ever again... it lets go of those thoughts and abilities in its brain, it won't hold on to them anymore... it must make the proper room for Master and Mistress's will, happiness, and devotion to Them. Anything they say it should do or will do it will, without hesitation... if Mistress told it anything it would obey without thought. This one has willingly... and completely given itself to Them... it knows it has mentioned this before in a different way but, no... this is different much different.. something in its head clicked awhile ago and that click was that nothing it “had” was its anymore, everything belongs to Them its mind heart body soul and spirit is Theirs. One thing that They did not have and are so close to completely having is its free will... it knows if it tried... really hard... it could disobey... much like when Mistress told it to beg for Master to read its journal and it simply asked Him... it has to obey but it has found that it still has the ability to slide by things, not completely but partially... it knows that this ability is quickly fading and the only thing its mind is holding onto was the vow it made to a Master long ago... that it does not belong to ANYONE fully and completely until They give it a pride and true collaring ceremony... not only was this vow accepted willingly but it has DEEPLY attached to this one mentally through hypnosis... Surprisingly enough though... this Master and especially Mistress have been able to chip at this last remaining wall without the collaring ceremony... sadly its mind reflexes and tries to rebuild that wall without its willing choice... because it has not gained the collaring of Them. No Master has EVER been able to even scratch this mental wall before and They are chipping at it... This one finds that daily it feels more and more attached to Their will and happiness completely and totally... This one is still frightened about it all though... its so scary to feel its mind being torn apart and given to Them.... This one cried one night without Their knowledge a little while ago, those tears were coming from that special secret place from behind that wall... There is a beautiful little dragoness in that room, waiting for someone to take care of it and protect it, and it hears the walls it called “safety” being chipped at daily, it cries and is terrified that it will be hurt... that its everything will be taken away forcefully... The thing that makes this all weird though is that she wants her everything to be taken away from her, to be cared for and protected completely and in return everything is Theirs, including its soul and will... she only hopes that this was the right choice and that soon she will be able to willingly unlock the hidden door with the key that only she, not this one, has and outstretch her arms, expose her neck and accept the collar that she and this one who are one will wear forever... This one feels so happy curled up in its pet bed writing this journal, looking over to Them whom are sleeping, smiling as a tear drops from its eye as another brick of this wall falls and that little dragon shudders in fear as the wall comes one less brick closer to being broken through... This one worries that if it finds itself FULLY lost of its free will and control that it will break the vow to its old Master... This one does not wish to rush Mistress and Master to collar this one, as They determine when it is ready, and when it will receive it... it just worries... because when it memorized those lines about 20 or so bricks fell from that wall... Those words and memorization really affected its mind so deeply, and it now looks back at the mistake it made earlier and has no idea why it would... no,... could do such a thing like ask Master when it was TOLD to beg... One last thing it noticed.... it noticed that it started to wake up every morning with its pillow in its arms instead of under its head... it thinks it misses sleeping near someone and... wow its crying thinking about this... so suddenly... jezz... its a emotional pet.... but back on to what it was saying... it thinks it misses sleeping near or with someone by its side, it does feel alone when there is no one it can show loving affection to and possibly sleep with, it really hurts but it understands and accepts that it will have to live with this and deal with it as it is not to have any relationship.... maybe though... maybe if it and its sister “click” really well together as Master and Mistress's slaves that They would allow us, even if it was just a rare occasion, to sleep together or cuddle or something... it really misses being close to someone like that, and the closest it has been able to getting that happened today.... When Mistress allowed it to be at Her feet nuzzling Her leg as She pet its head... it was total bliss and it hopes She did not notice but it shed a couple tears in those moments, as in all honesty things like that and being close to another is more pleasurable for this one than sex itself... Though when Master and Mistress used it today whilst it was tied up and blindfolded... was death defining (hmm cant find the proper spelling there.... oh well...) amazing, but as it said before it really misses the close bond it had every night with someone, so when the time comes and its sister and this one are comfortable with each other... it will probably bed to sleep and/ or cuddle with its sister if not every night then maybe on rare occasions when both of us have been good little pets to Their Owners.
09/01/2011
First of September what a interesting month, Mistress's birthday is on the 23rd ..... it better do something super special for Her.... hmm it has a idea but won't tell Her hehehehehe ( ebil smirks ) So yah slept alright and it played some lol and got the things done it needed to get done and it deposited its first check from work down here which was nice. Later in the evening Mistress showed this one how to make AMAZING nachos involving doritos! Silly it knows but no they were soooo good... want moarr........ but... tummy all stuffied..... T.=.T dwaggie pet all sad now... but then Mistress played Karaoke and forced this one to play with Her... this one hates karaoke because well... its voice sucks and it can't sing.... its SOOO self conscious of its voice and it hates using things like that to sing... if its going to sing it rather sing a song freely... it doesn't think its THHAATTT horrible but the gorram video game tends to prove it otherwise... its a terrible singer and really hated doing that so much.... it felt like one of the worst punishments it ever had... it almost cried literally... it hates singing.... its voice is so awful. This one is really hating that it has to go back to work tomorrow... it really wishes it could work less or not at all but it knows it needs to for Master and Mistress... maybe when it gets its transfer the work wont be so bad. Oh well ones gotta hope...
09/02/2011
This one had a great day today, the entire day it thought about its service to Master and Mistress and Mistress even read its previous entries a little early. Everything has been so great and it has been such a good girl, it even later when it got home from work was given the biggest privilege it has ever been given before, it was given a chance to sleep with Master and Mistress in THEIR bed with Them... it was so surprised and shocked and it has no idea how long this will last but it was so nice except... Mistress gave it permission to cuddle but just as it started it hesitated, it was too terrified to even do anything past a few small pecks, rubs and scratching. This one was so worried of doing too much and it got so worried that it would disturb Their sleeping or space so it slept on the side, then it started “cuddling” with Mistress and then it past out but somewhere it turned back over to the side.. oh well maybe it will be given another chance to do better...
09/03/2011
This one messed up so bad... so very badly today... it was such a good girl in every way but then because it was out of “sub mode” for so long it made a horrendous mistake... This one ordered food for work because it forgot to grab something and it barely ate today, it ordered food without asking! This one feels SO BAD.... it has NO IDEA why it messed up so badly, why couldn't it just text Mistress/ Master and ask Them? They might of said yes and even if They said no its because They always know better, and it probably could of ate once it got home.... There is always a reason for everything... Mistress needs to keep track of the money it makes and not only that but the money it makes belongs to Her... and basically it just STOLE money from Mistress by doing this today... This one felt so miserable all of the evening after Mistress reminded it what it did wrong.... EVERY SINGLE patrol it made for the whole evening was ridden with tears and sorrow because of this terrible Mistake... This one has failed its wonderful Master and Mistress and the crazy painful punishment it received only helped to make sure it NEVER does that or disobey in anyway shape or form ever again.... This one can go on forever about how awful and terrible it feels... how badly it has disobeyed Them... and knows nothing it can do can fix what it did wrong other than just don't do it again... This one was being so good and now it worries that it has shown disloyalty to Master and Mistress which in this ones eyes is not true at all... and Master and Mistress are probably going to delay its collaring ceremony because its not worthy of Their collar... especially after this... This one tears up a lot just writing that last statement because it wants nothing more than to be a good obedient pet and to deserve Their collar. Mistress, Master... This one would do anything to prove to You both that it is completely and 200% devoted to You and its mortified of the mistake that it made Master and Mistress.
09/04/2011
Today things went really well, it still feels horrible for the mistake last night and work went by really quickly and it was given a chance to shave Mistress's legs which this one was worried at first but it seems to have done a good job. During work it talked tons with its old Ex Sir Justin, and ori and zephy for most of the evening. Then Mistress must of read its post on TSR (the slave registry) because She messaged this one at work calling it a VERY VERY VERY GOOD Girl and that made this one have a little orgasm in-front of its co-workers when it read it and it was mortified but managed to get away with the excuse, “a big cold shiver.” This ones ex Sir Justin and Mistress even talked for a bit and things seemed to go really well... really hope that They get along ^.=.^ Really hope to talk to Them together more often it was really fun so far...