Kajira 7/25/2011 - 7/31/2011

07/25/2011
This one slept alright and its day was going fairly well but later on in the day it was very excited to get to talk to its sister and Mistress and Master, but during the conversation its roommate walked in on it wearing the collar without its shirt and he stormed off in a huff, then came back a couple minutes later and started to fight with it verbally, it had to end the call and try to end the argument and it was very, very worried it upset its Mistress. This one had such a terrible night and was treated horribly by its roommates it cannot wait to be away from all of this... the away time with its exercize only helps so little. This one cannot wait until it is away and happily under the love and care and will of its Master and Mistress.

07/26/2011
This one woke up quite late thanks to its work and began work straight away on its inventory and cleaning up and its roommate did not take any delay at all in making the work a living hell, this one is about fed up with its roommates, this one thinks they will never understand its feelings and understand that this is the life for it. This one did not feel that well although because it did not get to talk to its Mistress/ Master much at all today, it feels empty without Their praise and supervision, but its affirmation helped it a lot. At the end of the day though it writes this journal a little late because of all of its packing and it worries so much that Mistress is going to be really disappointed or upset with it, it hates more than anything to upset and/ or disappoint its Mistress.

07/27/2011
This one could not sleep when it got home from work so it ended up going to bed around 10am, when it collapsed basically. When this one woke up it was six pm and it got nothing done, it hates so much to waste a day doing nothing productive, it could of got so very, very much done but it did nothing, it bugged this one a lot, but it is happy to know that living with Master and Mistress it will not be unproductive and it will be at a constant service to Them. The only thing that kept this one from going insane was that it took a extra long exercise in the evening to make up for the loss of the day.

07/28/2011
This one tossed and turned all night it has been having a little bit of trouble sleeping, it believes it is just worrying about how its friends have been taking the entire thing... One of its friends told it to its face, “You will be back, I'm not going to say goodbye, this isn't the life for you I'll see you again soon.” Also today this one was guilt tripped into picking up its roommate and he told it to pick him up at 7pm, come 6pm he calls this one during its conversation with its Mistress and gets this one to pick him up early which this one would not mind much but it was talking with its Mistress, one of the two it is devoted to more than anything, and it leaving to do such a task could make Mistress think She was not the most important thing to this one, which is not and would never be true but still can convey that message easily when it does something such as that, it had a talk with its roommate saying that yes there is only a few days left but during that time please as much as he can respect this one and its Devotion to its Mistress.

07/29/2011
This one feels bad it has not been keeping more in touch with its Mistress and it thinks this lack of communication it has had in the past couple of days with its Mistress is making it have a harder time sleeping, it really wants to work on whilst its away from Master and Mistress to keep in touch better, the affirmations help a lot but they are not the same as talking with its Master/ Mistress, it loves Them so much and loves serving them in every way possible. This one writes this as it eats its dinner, but things are really starting not to feel right... Eating at the table, sleeping on a bed, having almost complete “freedom” feels like slavery to this one in a way, when it serves only itself it feels bad, and almost ill, this one cannot be any more grateful for what Master and Mistress have provided it, and showed it, that serving someone called a Master/ Mistress is what this one has always needed, the missing piece in its life, the black hole inside its body that could not be filled before. This one knows it cannot go through its life only serving itself, it desires no needs to serve someone else and no matter how many times it says or writes this or a similar statement down it isn't enough.

07/30/2011
This one slept horribly, it recalled not messaging Mistress last night about its Affirmation and journal on the correct time and it felt all the more horrible about the whole thing, it did not sleep well at all, it hates disappointing its Master and Mistress. After it got home from its exercize it was surprised to see its friend and its roommate waiting for it to get home with a surprise.... This one is being dragged to a movie, “Cowboys and Aliens” its by Stephen Spielberg and has Harrison Ford (came out of retirement merely for this movie.) if it was not for those two factors to be honest this one would never of considered seeing such a movie. This one needs to hurry on this journal though because this was a bit of a surprise, a friend of it and its roommate reflected on how they acted toward this one and know that no matter what they say or do they cannot change this ones mind so they decided to make the last few days “not as bad.” This one does worry about its affirmation, but its roommate told it the movie is only just under two hours, which if there is no traffic will give it enough time to get home and do its affirmation on time. This one hopes they are honest on their intentions to make the next couple of days not such a living hell.

07/31/2011
This one feels a little better and slept a little better this time. its Mistress told it a few things and during the movie it discovered the movie was not under two hours but actually about two and a half hours, it panicked it could not disappoint its Mistress and Master again so it told its friend and roommate sorry and went to the bathroom, grabbed a stall and sat on the seat closed its eyes and did its affirmation, it felt so very nice to be that devoted to its Master and Mistress, and when it told its Master and Mistress what it did and was told it was a very good girl, its heart flew, it felt like a child on Christmas morning, those words from its Mistress and/ or Master mean the world to it, and it felt like such a good girl and a good slave, it deserved those words and it cherished them and held them close, it wants, no needs to hear those words again and it will do anything to please Them to its best ability, Their smiles and praise mean more than the entire world to this one. The movie was pretty good but it missed the last about thirty minutes which was fine because its friend caught it up on what happened. This one is starting to get crazy excited to move down with its Master and Mistress only a few days left... This one cannot wait, this life is everything this one could ever want. The next few days before it heads down, this one vows to it self to prove to its Master and Mistress how devoted it is, so it can hear those words again.