The end

Thank you if you were a follower of this blog, however today I released my slaves for a LOT of different reasons.  I will miss them and I do love them very much. I also broke up with who everyone who read this knew as Master Fred!....Well it has all ended thank you for being a part of all of our lives if even for however brief.

Kajira 11/14/2011 - 11/20/2011

11/14/2011

Today was meh been thinking about its last weeks journals and such and its relationship as Mistress's slave... this one is very happy as Her slave but it really hopes Master gets a job soon or something because it feels like every month money just gets tighter and tighter... This in of itself makes it hard to stay in subspace because it feels like it needs to worry about such things but a deep breath and collection of its thoughts show this dragoness that its suppose to not worry anymore let Mistress handle everything, everything will go well and okay... Mistress You own it and love it as Your property You care for and protect it. As Your slave it will submit and serve You. You own its mind and body. You demand devotion and obedience.

11/15/2011

Today it went to work to cover for its boss since she had to go to LA for a event for a award that is going to be given to her for her great service. Work was alright nothing too special but tiring as always. When we got home we played video games for most of the night, watched pirates of the Caribbean 4 which is a awesome movie and got to snuggle next to Mistress which is always amazing, and discussed about tomorrow. Tomorrow we are going to the 94^th aerial squadron for the BDSM meet and greet. We have been going there every time its up once a month and its been so very much fun. So excited to see its other slave and sub and Dominate friends. Hopefully we win the raffle again! Can't wait... This one finds today a little hard to bring anything else up other than its excitement for Ori to be visiting us VERY soon Squeeee... Mistress You own it and love it as Your property You care for and protect it. As Your slave it will submit and serve You. You own its mind and body. You demand devotion and obedience.

11/16/2011

Today we went out to the 94^th Aerial squadron for foods and hanging out with other subs and slave and their respective Masters/ Owners. Was fun as it always was and oh my god it loves their nachos. This one feels bad though for missing out on about 80% of a very interesting conversation about the different ways a Dom... well Doms and such. One example was that some Doms like Their drink refilled when its empty without anyone having to ask. Some don't because it risks wasting things if They don't want it or whatever. Afterwards Master, Mistress, sis and it grabbed some AWESOME potato vodka from the store. Sadly Mistress had work the next morning so only us three got drunk and BOY did we get drunk. This one got distracted with other things when it noticed sis and Master “doing it” for like TWO HOURS STRAIGHT DAYUMMM does alchy get those two Really going. This one was not too sad it missed out though because people were drunk and that leads to bad things with sex like pain or not knowing when to stop etc etc etc. Mistress You own it and love it as Your property You care for and protect it. As Your slave it will submit and serve You. You own its mind and body. You demand devotion and obedience.

11/17/2011

MY GOODNESS today Mistress wanted to get drunk with us so She turned off the internet, closed off the TV, put on some karaoke video games and went at it with the alchy... sis got really into it too. Master and it felt pretty bored/ tired because it was not our thing but that was alright Mistress was having fun. Then Mistress got CRAZY drunk and threw up EVERYWHERE not only that but She tried to attack anyone that got near Her for some weird reason. Master almost had to tie Her up. She drank WAAAYYY too much She even couldn't form real words just a bunch of MAAA.... DOOOO.... GAAAA.... BAAA or some random yelling of sounds, always yelling them too @_@. Mistress You own it and love it as Your property You care for and protect it. As Your slave it will submit and serve You. You own its mind and body. You demand devotion and obedience.

11/18/2011

Today was a serious cleaning up day and taking care of Mistress day. She had a hangover for about the entire day and sister and it took care of Her and kept the place clean while we all relaxed from the craziness of the previous night. Mistress was completely floored by how the night went and we will have to make sure that She does not get so drunk that She forgets She needs to stop drinking. This one is so very excited for Ori's visit and hopes it can make really good dinners while he is around, this one loves to impress and in turn show that Mistress has done a great job with it. Mistress You own it and love it as Your property You care for and protect it. As Your slave it will submit and serve You. You own its mind and body. You demand devotion and obedience.

11/19/2011

Today this one mostly played Skyrim for most of the day after work. Work was SOOO exhausting, all this walking around n such but hopefully this will get it to loose more weight for Mistress and Master. This one REALLY wants to be a really attractive slave for Them. Other than that stuffs... Ori will be here in like two days MY GOODNESS EEEE can't wait it has missed him SOOO very, very much. He will have to respect that we are having a formal thanksgiving but it won't lie it cant wait to see what he looks like dressed up hehe. Mistress You own it and love it as Your property You care for and protect it. As Your slave it will submit and serve You. You own its mind and body. You demand devotion and obedience.

11/20/2011

Today journal it got home from work and ate dinner which was pretty nice, and then Master and Mistress argued a lot again for the hundredth time about stuff this one doesn't believe should matter since it was simply about ____ game was mine not yours. When the game was sold back to game stop anyways... shrugs.... but yah this one feels like it has been participating in these arguments as well even fueling them sometimes and that is devastating it... once it figures out it was going into a argument its mind broke down, flew out of subspace and wanted to curl up in a dark corner... freaking landmines of emotions whenever a argument happens that is at least a tiny bit heated. This slave wishes it could always just be in its wonderful subspace... The other thing is that it hopes Mistress uses the hypnosis more often because this one has not been put down into trance in a while so its triggers are fading and not only that but it kind of feels like a drug that puts this one into withdraws... This little slave craves trance and cannot help it much... its just so relaxing, stress relieving, mind emptying. Every aspect of trance is good for its mental health but its also addicted to this healthy habit :x.  Last thing... Ori... tomorrow... Squeeze... over and out.... Mistress You own it and love it as Your property You care for and protect it. As Your slave it will submit and serve You. You own its mind and body. You demand devotion and obedience.

Kajira 11/7/2011 - 11/13/2011

11/07/2011

Last night it got into a accident at work and REALLY hurt its arm... its so worried what will go down at work in the next few days, it really hopes the CEO of the company lets it stay working and it really hopes its arm gets better soon... it REALLY hates being unable to help or even serve at its full ability, it Loves its Mistress and not being able to serve Her hurts so much, so very, very much journal. This one is so very worried about its sister, as She is having some major issues being in this relationship, but it knows if She talks to Mistress that She will fix it, Mistress fixes everything... Mistress You own it and love it as Your property. You care for and protect it. As Your slave it will submit and serve You. You own its mind and body. You demand devotion and obedience.

11/08/2011

Today its still dealing with the painful arm injury and now its back and neck are hurting... it really hopes this doesn't turn worse. Spending time with Mistress and sister is always nice, but sister's aura really frightens it. Other than that, on its way to work Mistress saw it pulling its bag onto its shoulder and it did not wrench in pain, so Mistress looked at it like it was faking the entire thing... it was shocked... it was floored by this and terrified because it knows it does hurt, but sometimes when doing actions it doesn't, the pain is a on-off thing, either REALLY bad or not there at all... This one cried at work a little because Mistress must of thought it lied to Her... This one would NEVER lie or hide ANYTHING from Mistress... this one doesn't know what to say or do... Hopefully talking to sister tonight at work will help make it feel a little better... Hopefully Mistress doesn't think it lied but its just so worried that She does because of how She reacted... This one feels so lost when Mistress thinks such things. This one feels like a horrible bad girl right now, it knows it did not lie but Mistress thinks it lied so its in pain... a lot of pain... What did it do to loose Her trust... sighs... it will go talk to its sister and hope things are okay at home... Mistress You own it and love it as Your property. You care for and protect it. As Your slave it will submit and serve You. You own its mind and body. You demand devotion and obedience.

11/09/2011

This one woke up in the afternoon and apparently missed out on the HUGE argument according to its sister about Master re-arranging the house without consulting Mistress. Then when Mistress got home Master under minded Her... again. This one is so happy it missed all of that because that is its biggest landmine and why its dragon does not like Master very much... This one really hopes He either ships up or ships out soon because this one will have to end up leaving if Master does not fix His attitude or leaves... This one would hate to have to end up leaving Mistress, as it would be lost and confused and would feel worthless without Her... This one has devoted its life to Her now and She owns it... Mistress You own it and love it as Your property. You care for and protect it. As Your slave it will submit and serve You. You own its mind and body. You demand devotion and obedience.

11/10/2011

Today we went grocery shopping and it all went fairly well but something has been bothering it forever and it has had a lot of trouble not saying anything about it but tonight it did, as it is NEVER to hide anything from Mistress and Master, so it brought up its problem which was it was considering to leave the relationship if Master does not ship up, just got to hope things go well soon or else it will have to leave... Master please get Your job and be more mature, or just leave and let Mistress live happier without being under minded and argued with daily... Tomorrow is sister's birthday so lets put this aside and make sure she has a grand day! Mistress You own it and love it as Your property. You care for and protect it. As Your slave it will submit and serve You. You own its mind and body. You demand devotion and obedience.

11/11/2011

Today was a interesting day, a very, very interesting day. Today started off with sister's birthday which went so amazingly, something big came up though... When sister left for some private time Mistress decided to look on her Skype and found the conversation she had with Chazori, its other dragon sister. About her plans to move out and be released from Mistress as her slave. Mistress was so upset, She said she was only disappointed, and that She felt like she was lied to but it did not feel that way. Mistress seemed VERY angry and Her aura and tone and words were ones of anger, at least that is how it felt no matter what Mistress said... this one felt disgusted and ill for almost the rest of the day. When sis got home we enjoyed dinner and cake and it was so very, very much fun. After the event we gave her, her birthday spankings and that was a little fun, but then it went to go try out Skyrim the new game and then it heard crying coming from the room... it knew immediately what it was about and it about curled up and cried itself a little bit... it was terrified and scared and it felt so ill. When They came out it was a weird experience... its sister is now a sub, not a slave and she is now (D)estiny, not (d)estiny. She is not above it and she is still its sister but she is now completely and utterly a sub instead of a slave. This one is still confused on how it completely feels about this... it almost feels like sister was kind of forced into this situation out of fear and guilt, not out of honesty and how She truly feels. This at least is a trial period and we will all see how it ends up at the beginning of the next year... it wishes its sister to be happy above all else and its afraid she is lying about her feelings because of how deeply she came to it about her problems and feelings about this entire relationship... sighs... Only time will tell if this is now what She truly needs and she was honest about this choice and not coerced into it. This one is also feeling a little depressed because it feels it was not completely listened to when Mistress talked to it about its own feelings. This depression is because sister told it, that Mistress said, “kajira has decided to stay no matter what...” or something along those lines. To be completely honest it still is not sure of things and its still in a maybe state. This one cannot say its view one way or another until Master gets or does not get His job. The one thing though that is making it lean towards staying though is that Master during this entire event today was VERY, VERY MATURE and adult like and very forgiving, and kind, and sweet, and gentle, to Mistress, sister, and it.  This one was floored by His maturity today and it thinks its starting to warm up to Him a little... If only this job thing works out... Mistress You own it and love it as Your property. You care for and protect it. As Your slave it will submit and serve You. You own its mind and body. You demand devotion and obedience.

11/12/2011

Today there was a really huge event at its work its called Family Fun Day or Diversity Day. It was a day about diversity and all about the different parts of the world how each culture is different but all the same in their respective qualities. its boss did Africa. This one did not get a assignment but it was told to work the site and watch the cameras. Later on in the morning its Mistress, Master, and sister Destiny,  came over to the family fun day and They hung out and played in the video game truck and They ate some of the wonderful food that was provided. This one wished They stayed longer for the video but hopefully They will let it show Them the video later, it was a VERY moving and wonderful video called “Eye of The Storm” it was a documentary on diversity and showed it through a one Mrs. Elliot, who separated Her class by the color of their respective eyes. They quickly turned on each other and it really showed how powerful diversity is and how it affects every part of someone's life if They are on the lower tier/ bracket. When it got home it was allowed to try out Star Wars the Old Republic beta which was absolutely AMAZING. The game is amazing and it cannot wait to play the full version its sooooo excited. Hopefully it gets lots of time to play it again tomorrow after work... hopefully. Thank You Master and Mistress so much. Later on in the evening it decided it was time to give sister its special gift... The gift of a dragon soul. This one gave its sister a part of its dragon and put it inside her. This will help her be a little stronger and a lot more connected to this one. If she feels pain it will, if she is happy it will be happy it hopes that she really liked the gift because it took a lot out of it to give it away to a human... Mistress You own it and love it as Your property. You care for and protect it. As Your slave it will submit and serve You. You own its mind and body. You demand devotion and obedience.

11/13/2011

This one went to work in the morning and had a pretty normal day. When it got back though it found out that sister was away at her Temple/ Church for her religion. This one was so happy for her as she has come a long way in everything, and now she is working towards becoming a major member of her beliefs. This one hopes everyone of her dreams comes true as Mistress's sub. Later in the evening though Mistress let its dragon out and it does not remember too much other than that she quite enjoyed the time out, but as it told its sister. When its dragon comes out she is usually quite, or VERY drained of energy mainly because of how she was brought out. How snowy brought her out though she was full of energy and life. This one thinks its because snowy described her traits and touched them on its body, it helped give the dragon a form to flow into rather than forcing her to fit into its human form. Things did go pretty well though and apparently the dragon rested besides sister instead of on top of her like she usually does, probably because of the part of her soul inside its sister now. Mistress You own it and love it as Your property. You care for and protect it. As Your slave it will submit and serve You. You own its mind and body. You demand devotion and obedience.

New Dynamic

Well....This has been an eventful week with the girls........The girls are fine.....but I have to tell everyone that you will not be seeing any more journals from destiny.....We have decided that after a huge thing that happened she will be moving up in the world and I have elevated her status to submissive.  She still does her journals but from here out I will not post them for everyone to read........Sorry...That is the way of things here under Me!!!

Thank you all for following the girls lives here!! It has been an exciting journey and its not over yet.....heheheh
Mistress Kristen

Kajira 10/31/2011 - 11/6/2011

10/31/2011
Today was a good day... Master went to His interview and it seemed to have gone well and He is going in for a second interview on the 8th of November it believes, also Shyvana the half-dragon on league of legends comes out tomorrow SQUEEEEE.... SOOO very very excited to play her... Today Mistress took it to the side to speak to it about its last weeks journals and that went very well it just hopes as it keeps saying again and again that Master matures up because it cannot be around the arguing and especially undermining of the one it is completely and utterly devoted to... it does not hate Master at all and actually loves Him as more like a friend but maybe it can see Him as Master if He matures a bit with Mistress. This one is so happy to be under Mistress but it has noticed that its sister has been having something serious bothering her as her aura is EXTREMELY out of wack... it really REALLY hopes everything is okay... This weds our good friend Snowy is coming to visit and we all are going to the sub voice meeting together! Yay! Going to be sooo much fun cannot wait but until then MUST PLAY SHYVANA MORE AND MORE. Mistress You own it and love it as Your property. You care for and protect it. As Your property it will submit and serve You. You own its mind and body. You demand devotion and obedience.

11/01/2011
Today was awesome Shyvana the half-dragon came out for league of legends and she is such a fun and interesting hero ^.=.^. Besides that though life under Master and Mistress is pretty good, We will see what happens with Master though because He has a second interview coming up on the 8th and if that does not go well He might be out... Something has been bothering its sister a lot and it REALLY hopes everything is okay, it knows Mistress could fix it what ever it is because Mistress fixes everything. Tomorrow snowy (Becca) our friend from the LA area is coming to visit and is going to go to the sub voice meeting with us tomorrow, its so excited to finally meet her, hang out with her and go to the meeting with destiny and her so very very much. Mistress You own it and love it as Your property. You care for and protect it. As Your property it will submit and serve You. You own its mind and body. You demand devotion and obedience.

11/02/2011
Today its friend Snowy came over to hang out with us and to go to the sub voice meeting but before that. destiny and it made something super special! we made a carrot spaghetti from scratch and it was vegan since snowy was vegan. it is soooo extremely happy that we got to make something for a house guest and not only that but we did SUCH A AMAZING job. Mistress and Snowy both gave us lots of praise for the amazing great work we did on it. After that we went to a submissive voice meeting and we got to learn so very much about childhood abuse and post trauma abuse. We learned that in D/s relationships there are very common “landmines” that come up and they can come up at anytime. This ones landmines are in particular yelling and arguing. Anytime it hears an argument that gets even a little heated it wants to curl up and disappear. Especially if yelling is involved. When Master and Mistress yelled once it wanted to run out the door so badly it cant be around that stuff it will go into a panic attack. This landmine is linked to its past with its parents that got divorced and the being raised under a mother that yelled more than lectured or comforted. After the meeting its sis and snowy hung out in the living room and watched Rio while we cuddled and snowy did something that no-one has been able to really do. she was able to bring out its dragon mental shift completely fully with out any sort of mental attempt by its own self just by talking to the dragon specifically and scratching/ petting her wing membranes and her horns and talking about all of the dragon's features bringing her out so gently and lovingly, it was amazing. Cuddling with snowy and sis was so amazing and wonderful and the movie Rio was so amazing and sweet. The night was such a wonderful night and we both cannot wait until next month when she comes back to visit. Mistress You own it and love it as Your property. You care for and protect it. As Your property it will submit and serve You. You own its mind and body. You demand devotion and obedience.

11/03/2011
Mistress and Master today was interesting it was its last day off and the day before last was so amazing that it kind of made today a bit of a meh day. Today was nothing too special but today it talked to its sister a lot and there seems to be something on her mind and it hopes things get solved with her soon it hates seeing her like this. Something has been building up for a while. Its not sure how much longer it can go without really sitting down and talking to her itself. Maybe everything is okay, it hopes everything is okay and its just overreacting. its gets so easily worried about its wonderful sister it loves her so much. Other than that it feels every day a stronger and stronger connection with Mistress. its not sure if it can leave Mistress or even take off its public collar even if it wanted or needed to anymore. Mistress You own it and love it as Your property. You care for and protect it. As Your property it will submit and serve You. You own its mind and body. You demand devotion and obedience.

11/04/2011
Today it went back to work and things are going alright just feeling so close to Mistress as her pet/ slave and not much else to report. This one has discovered how much it is in love with cooking nowadays. it actually feels really wrong and upset when it does not cook, it loves to experiment and cook anything and everything throughout the day, it does not know quite how this came to be true but cooking is just so relaxing and wonderful, its so happy to be done with fast food and such and to be loosing weight while making amazing delicious food. Mistress You own it and love it as Your property. You care for and protect it. As Your property it will submit and serve You. You own its mind and body. You demand devotion and obedience.

11/05/2011
Today has been a good Saturday it got to make something on its own completely and it got to experiment with all kinds of spices and extras and it made something that sis and Mistress both said was really good ^.=.^ it only wishes it could of made it for everyone instead of just it but Mistress said that the each of us were to make our own dinners this evening. This one made a suggestion that sometime sis and it should do a sort of Iron Chief night where Mistress and or Master would give us a special ingredient and we'd have to make a dinner for Them and They'd rate our dinners with taste and presentation would be so fun and amazing. Mistress also mentioned more about the Dom dinner later on in the future where sis and it will be perfect little slaves serving a bunch of Doms at a really super fancy dinner and its so excited to learn as much as it can and excited for the dinner and it hopes it is going to do really good, it worries that it will mess up and embarrass it self in front of others and embarrass Mistress as well, hopefully the practicing and training will fix this. Mistress You own it and love it as Your property. You care for and protect it. As Your property it will submit and serve You. You own its mind and body. You demand devotion and obedience.

11/06/2011
Today it went to work (11-6 at night up until 11-7 11am) and it had a major incident a raccoon came out of a storm drain and attempted to attack it while it was driving the golf cart... it had to kick the raccoon away and had to speed up when it then drove the golf cart into a stop/ speed limit sign which then the raccoon must have been scared off, sadly it damaged the cart and sign pretty bad and its arm was in INTENSE pain and still is up to this moment. Today it had to sign tons of paperwork and go to US health works for x-rays and everything, seems it just pulled a muscle or two in its arm it hopes this goes away soon and doesn't cause anything big like physical therapy. This one hates SOOO much that it is bed ridden again... it hates so much to just lay here being lazy not doing anything at all. Mistress and Master and sister have been so very helpful with everything while it was at the doctor's office and hopefully today goes well after it wakes up from its nap. Hopefully the arm will be all better super quick. Last night it missed a episode of “The Walking Dead” it likes this show a lot and it needs to get all caught up. Mistress You own it and love it as Your property. You care for and protect it. As Your property it will submit and serve You. You own its mind and body. You demand devotion and obedience.

Destiny 10/31/2011 - 11/6/2011

10-31-11

Journal today was Halloween/Samhain/Harvest/Vetraetntr! Yay! it was also a very interesting day for a number of other reasons. it woke up early and did its chores, some of which were rather difficult to do, but for that reason it was proud it got them done. Then it mostly waited to take Master to His interview but just before it was time Mistress called and it and Master went to pick Her up. As always it was very nice to see Her in Her sexy costume and hear the funny stories about Her co-worker’s reactions. However it was told the plan changed and so when it got back They went in the car this one brought and sis and this one went to the store to get Halloween candy, which was also fun. When we got home we mostly just played lol and waited for Them to return, and when They did it was glad to hear everything went well. Mistress called sis into the room to talk about her journals and then this one. Journal, it was much more intense than it expected. She knew from its journal that it was still having difficulties because it still didn’t understand the nature of our relationship and it’s role in it. So Mistress spelled it out very clearly, that She knew that it had expected and asked about and maybe it would eventually develop into at least it’s relationship with Mistress being one of lovers/partners/mates, a romantic relationship it guesses, which has always been the most valuable sort to this one and the one it rather has always obsessed over. it had thought from things said our very first chat and the way things had been developing that that sort of interpersonal relationship was at least a possibility, but Mistress said very clearly that it was not and never would be. Which was very, very hard for this one to hear, but it tried to maintain control. Mistress on the other hand said that ultimately if it was good it would have the opportunity to move up from being a slave to being a sub and at least become part of the family, since from it’s journals it seems She knows now that it’s not really comfortable in the role of slave, even though it loves Mistress and Master and serving Them. Anyway it held itself together as long as it could but eventually it started crying and Mistress held it while the tears passed, which it was so very, very thankful to Her for. it realized even if things were going to be very different from what it hoped at least it wasn’t alone like before. When we came out of the room we watched funny videos on the internet and then went to our computers, sis went to work and this one started talking to snowy before bedtime. Anyway journal, today was a very emotional day and it’s going to take it a while to process what happened, but it will try to be strong and it knows it’s not alone. They say the veil between our world and the spirit world is thinner on this night, and it feels that, certainly changes and developments that have long been accruing in it’s heart have come to fruition tonight. it looks forward to tomorrow.

11-1-11

Journal today was also quite an interesting day. it woke up early and it was glad to see that Master was much, much more talkative than He has been recently. it supposes He had been very upset about what might have been coming and this one had forgot that men generally do not express negative feelings like that but just become more quiet, and from the day-to-day shift it was quite apparent. Anyway He taught this one how to make pancakes with bacon in them, a dish it had never heard of, but it guesses it did an okay job and He enjoyed it. He has also been becoming much more Dominant over this one recently, which is nice but quite unexpected, and will take some getting used to.  sis came home from her long night at work and played with this one and Master a little bit with the new dragon character in lol before crashing to sleep. it tried to do its writing a bit but didn’t make a lot of progress, and then it went to go pick up Mistress since Her feet were hurting from Her new shoes, which it was glad to be able to help Her out in that way. When we got home Mistress told this one and sister more about the formal M/s dinner we will be attending and what will be expected of us, which honestly completely terrified it. Being around 10 family groups of complete strangers in someone else’s private space is cause enough for a panic attack, but knowing that it will be expected perform absolutely correctly to the minutest detail is just beyond imagination. it is quite sure that it is going to make a terrible mistake and screw everything up, it always does. So it is dreading this and the associated training as it approaches. it is a little confused that it’s training has always been shifted from one specific and specialized sidelane of protocol and service to another, but it has never received training in directly helping or forcing it to submit, which would make things a lot easier for this one, but its up to Mistress’ wishes and it knows this will please Her so it’s ok. From there it and sis got to make dinner per Mistress’ instructions and omigod it was seriously the most delicious thing ever, it really hopes Mistress will let us make this again in the future it was so seriously good. From there we went our computers for a little bit but afterwards it was time for the surprise Mistress had been hinting at through the course of the day. Unfortunately sis was still quite tired and when it became clear that the surprise would probably tire her out a good bit more Mistress and Master let her sleep on Their bed while we went out into the living room. it still feels shy about ‘kissing and telling’ but it supposes it is important to record what happened as it was very important to it’s service and it’s feelings. it was very excited, Mistress even made several quips about the look of anticipation on it’s face. Mistress trained this one in several new techniques to please Master, and it very much enjoyed practicing them, He seemed to enjoy it too. In particular this one was taught a technique where Mistress and this one pleased Him simultaneously, and with our faces so close and our lips and tongues brushing together with Master in between it realized how very close it was to this one being kissed by Mistress, which it has yearned for so much but knows now is not really part of the program, but even that little contact was just so incredibly fulfilling for this one. And Master even was gentle with this one, touching it and pleasing it and biting it, which it was surprised about but made it so very happy. The next part was even more intense than that…Master and Mistress used this one both at the same time, and it was so, so, so intensely pleasurable, it’s mind was gone almost instantly and there was nothing but bliss. it was especially glad because it seemed like it was really pleasing Mistress…and in that the best part came, when Mistress made it stop moving but instead grabbed it’s hair and moved very quickly into it and breathily said it was a ‘good slut’ which…oh it wishes it had words to describe it journal, it loves being physically dominated and verbally degraded like that more than anything, it talks to it’s heart and makes it understand and feel like it belongs in it’s role so much more than just obeying and serving because of protocol and duty, it awakens something so deep within it. They were both finished shortly thereafter and it was so happy, it felt like it had done such a good job pleasing Them and was a good girl and it’s heart was soaring and all the energy in it’s body was vibrating. And that, of course, right on cue, is when it had to screw everything up. it asked if it could take a shower because it was quite dirty. Mistress had thought it had finished because of the spot on the pet bed, but it was just getting very wet like it always does, and when She asked if it had come it said yes because it had come in the female way but it had not truly finished so it was still quite excited…also it didn’t want to draw attention to it’s own needs after They were so satisfied and it was happy to not come. But all of this was wrong and got it in trouble, because while it was in the shower it was still very excited and reeling with happiness thinking about what we had done, and while it was cleaning itself it was idly playing with itself…it knew somewhere inside that it shouldn’t but it was so happy and aroused and knew that it wasn’t going to lead anywhere further it couldn’t help itself. But Mistress popped Her head in the shower and it died inside, it knew instantly it was in trouble. it felt so deeply ashamed, She said it would be punished but that it could finish while it was in there but it couldn’t, it was absolutely miserable now. When it got out it was in that very far out, very spiritual space it is always in after making love, where it feels like it’s chest is literally being held open and it’s heart is floating on the outside of it’s body, but now it was tainted by this overwhelming guilt and shame…it felt very much like it was in hell. it did everything it could to do things for Mistress the rest of the night and beg forgiveness, it was so desperate to do anything to feel like it was a good girl again and not a bad girl like it knew it was. But it only died down slowly, and after Mistress had already gone to bed, snowy cheering it up by talking about different things and taking it’s mind off of it. it was also a little upset afterwards since Master seems really to want to grill it now about it’s writing and was really on it about what was wrong and why wasn’t it writing. Which was hurtful to this one and just made it want to curl up and die, honestly. it doesn’t know if He has ever tried to write a story but at least for this one it is one thing it cannot be slave-driven into. it knows He was probably trying to help but He has been doing this for several days and it actually makes it want to throw it’s laptop out the window and never write again more than anything…it’s much better to try to encourage it gently but sense when it’s not the time to talk about it and not to constantly keep track of if it’s doing it or not, like the way snowy helps it with it’s writing. it supposes apart of it is that since Master probably has a job now it feels like it is the one who is leeching off of everyone now and is useless and isn’t contributing anything. So in total journal while there were many very wonderful aspects of tonight it was overall rather difficult, always because of it’s own fault and it’s own stupid mistakes, like it has always been in it’s life. it is trying to keep it’s chin up and not let the depression get a foothold again. Tomorrow should be a very nice day since it will get to meet sis snowy and go to the submissive voice meet, so it is hoping things will be clearer and it will feel better after tomorrow.

11-2-11

Journal tonight was a very interesting night, and it has many things to report to you but it is also very, very tired so it will try to summarize things quickly. Today was mostly focused around snowy’s visit and our trip to the submissive voice meet, both of which here just fantastic. We did our various chores in the morning and went and got the ingredients for the vegan spaghetti and got home and set about busily preparing it -- and it is so glad sis suggested it, because it turned out absolutely wonderful, some of the best red sauce pasta it has ever had (and it doesn’t say that lightly since it’s a huge pasta fanatic) snowy arrived and it was so glad to see her, obviously we were all shy at first and just made small talk and such but it was quickly time to leave for the submissive voice meet and things quickly got better from there. We all knew each other quite well from talking online but obviously it’s quite different meeting someone in person, but much like how sis and this one were shy at first but warmed up *quickly* the same thing pretty much happened with snowy, we all got quite comfortable with each other during the car ride to the meet. Arriving there was quite interesting since the place looked completely the opposite of what one would expect for this sort of thing and we all kind of just wanted to run, but thankfully sis took the lead and we charged in and found the group, and it was awesome. The meeting was quite different from what it expected but also incredibly fun, everyone going in turns and talking about their issues but in a casual way, and even though the subject matter of past abuse was rather heavy it felt very comfortable and safe and happy the entire time. And during the short break time we got to have some nice conversation too, and then snowy was *so* super generous and got the biscuits and drinks for this one and sis, she spoiled us so much during her visit. As we were leaving we met one of the other subs there who was the only one really close to our age named allison, she was really nice and shared similar interests with both this one and sis but in different areas. When we got back we all chatted a bit and then Mistress instructed sis snowy on how She wanted this one to be hypnotized, and some of it’s old triggers were reinforced, some of it’s old issues were dealt with and it was given a new trigger as well, which it can’t wait to try out. Then after she hypnotized sis too Mistress went to bed and we all cuddled together and watched Rio, which again was so much fun, it felt so comfortable and safe and loved and able to be itself, snowy really is such a wonderful person and treated both of us so well and made both of us so happy, it could feel such an open and free energy flowing from all of us while we were together that it was really wonderful. Anyway shortly after the movie it was time for her to leave so we said our goodbyes…anyway journal today was absolutely wonderful but it is quite late and time for us to go to bed so it will leave it there.

11-3-11

Journal it was hoping it’d be able to write a little more tonight but it is absolutely exhausted so again it will try to keep things brief. Today was a pretty quiet day, when it woke up it tried to take it easy since it was just as tired then as it feels now, but then we got the chores done which was satisfying as always, went to the bank and we played a few games for a little bit until Mistress got home. Mistress talked to this one and sis a little bit more about the formal dinner and gave us some links where we could learn more about it and such, which was nice of her. Then it got to make with sis a very nice dinner which Mistress said was good and so it was proud of. From there Mistress went on the phone and sis and this one chatted and watched MLP. Then Mistress and Master tried out the new rubber bands on us and we got a chance to be used by Them, which was wonderful as always, it taught sis the techniques it learned the other night and we all pleased each other and it felt very, very good, especially since Mistress helped this one come so well…sis also enjoyed herself quite a lot she seemed, she was completely unable to move and utterly over stimulated when it was all done. Afterwards we showered and then played two games of league, which didn’t go so well, but it’s ok. So anyway journal that’s all it has to say for now, it is quite tired so it is going to say goodnight.

11-4-11

Journal today was a fairly uneventful day, at least after the early afternoon. As Mistress said it was kind of a ‘blah’ day so we didn’t do much and mostly took it easy. When Mistress and Master got back from the bank we figured out how we were going to get this one’s hormones and went and got them for both this one and sis. it was wonderful driving about because it was raining for the first time since it got here which was awesome, it loves the rain so very much, and while we were out this one and Mistress got to have a fun conversation which was nice as always. When we got back we just chilled mostly, this one watched the animated Christmas Carol with Mistress which was pretty cool, then we made dinner which was really good and for the rest of the night we mostly worked on our characters for the pathfinder game and discussed the campaign, while doing other things and watching tv and stuff, and overall it was quite fun. Mistress went to bed shortly after sis left and this one finished up it’s character, helped Master with his a little bit, and played a few games of lol before sitting down to write you journal. So…yeah, not really much to report overall today, although it was a fun and relaxing day which was nice as this week has had a lot of intense stuff overall in it. it looks forward to what will happen tomorrow.

11-5-11

Journal today was a fairly interesting day. it got to sleep in a little and took a shower and then started doing the chores. Everyone was still talking about the game which was fun, and in between laundry cycles it wrote up it’s character bio, and shortly after sis woke up we started playing the pathfinder game, which took a big chunk of the day but was so super much fun. this one thinks it caused more than it’s fair share of trouble, hehehe, but it was so much fun to think analytically as well as being able to be more expressive and free-speaking, which was really nice, and it can’t wait to play more of the game tomorrow, yay! Afterwards we made awesome individual pork dinners and it felt like it did a good job, and sis had the wonderful idea of slave iron chef, which it thinks would be awesome. We put away the clothes, had a little tickle fight, and then all settled down to watch tv shows and a movie, which was a really nice way to unwind. it quite enjoyed both the tv shows and the movie, and so it’s in quite a good mood. Mistress is preparing to go to bed and it was told to write up it’s journal as it’s now doing. The only other thing of only tangential interest to the journal’s topic is that it has just answered an email from it’s paternal grandfather, apparently it’s trans issues have at last been communicated to him by it’s dad so it hashed things out with him a bit, and it has shot off an IM to sis to check in on how things are going at work. Other than that nothing really to report…it looks forward primarily to picking up the game tomorrow!

11-6-11

Journal today was a very strange day, if for no reason other than everything felt quite strange due to the time difference. it woke up feeling quite lazy but felt a lot better once it took a bath and did the dishes. Unfortunately sis wasn’t feeling well so we didn’t get to play more pathfinder, so we all just kept to our computers and played games, Mistress and Master competing in games and Mistress paying attention to Her football scores, and so this one took the chance to go outside and work on it’s writing a little bit, which was a lot of fun and it feels like it made a lot of progress today. When it got back in it had a phone call with it’s family which was considerably less fun, but afterwards we got to make breakfast for dinner which was absolutely delicious, and this one and sis watched MLP and played a few games of LoL, which was also quite a lot of fun. From there this one and Mistress watched our zombie show, which was very good as always, if not quite as exciting as last week. Now Mistress has gone off to bed and it is just finishing up it’s journals. it has been a rather quiet week except for the first few days, which was nice to have a respite. it wonders what will happen tomorrow -- it is certainly excited for the end of next week :)

Kajira 10/24/2011 - 10/30/2011

10/24/2011
Today was a bit of a odd day, sister and it did some cleaning up and organizing and then later sister decided to teach it some things about magik, first she did a tarot card reading and then she invoked the demon that has been following it for some time to do some automatic writing, sadly we did not get much from that but we think we may be able to work to get to know it better so we can get rid of him once and for all... Something weird happened though, feels like ever since that little experiment he has been around still in its dreams and in small energy feelings about its person. When Mistress got home it was more then overjoyed to see Her as seeing Her makes the day so very much better. it loves its Mistress so much and would do anything for Her. Serving Her has brought it total happiness and bliss, there is nothing She could not do to make it happy in servitude. there is one thing though it has been thinking about with worry... this one has read a lot about other slaves lives and their journeys and such and well it feels it needs a little bit more control over it. it feels at least in the past few weeks that Mistress and Master have been super lenient with it. It kind of wished it slept in bondage more, even if its just being chained or tied to the bed frame while it sleeps, being told to lay by Mistress's feet instead of spending free time playing lol or whatever... it wishes it could be in its subspace 24/7 and its free time be more sparced, it knows this is dangerous waters and it worries about asking for too much and may not be what it wants but... it wishes it lost more of its freedoms to Master and Mistress. it may regret saying this later but its willing to risk it. It also feels bad because this is the level of dominance that Mistress and Master enjoy and that is all that should matter, maybe it should stop looking into other slaves lives so much on the internet. Mistress You own it and love it as Your property. You care for and protect it. As Your slave it will submit and serve You. You own its mind and body. You demand devotion and obedience.

10/25/2011
Today has been interesting not too much happened just one week until the final choice on if Master stays or leaves because He has to have a job. Hopefully He will have a job and maybe that job will get Him to be more active in the house as Master. Other than that it has been feeling more and more like its hard to get into subspace it thinks it may have to do with how casual Master is with us. When it and sis took Mistress to Her meeting at Mantech it lasted a long time but sis and it got to have a long deep conversation about stuff it was sooooo nice... Sadly it does not have much more to say but its so happy to be under Mistress it just wishes it could be in subspace all the time... it will see about laying by Her feet more often, it needs to make sure its video game addiction does not come back in full swing like it feels like it has been a little bit. At least it got to rub Her feet that day since Mistress had such a hard day... Journal... next week is going to be interesting... Mistress You own it and love it as Your property. You care for and protect it. As Your slave it will submit and serve You. You own its mind and body. You demand devotion and obedience.

10/26/2011
Today like yesterday was not too crazy but some interesting things happened... This day we got to have some fun with Mistress and Master but before that got to happen Master started to undermine Her and that hurt it so badly, it hates when it sees Master under-minding its Mistress, the one person it looks up to for EVERYTHING now... Really almost made this one sick to its stomache but thankfully Mistress tied us up and had some fun, thankfully She was much nicer on the whacks then other times and it was pleasurable rather than purely painful... it knows its sis probably wanted to be hit harder but that's because she is a pain-slut :P. After that Mistress gave us such a WONDERFUL gift... She let her slaves have sex and play around... it was amazing... it had to try SOOOO Hard to keep the dragoness inside since she loves its sister as her gem, her piece of her hoard and she had to come out at least a little and she ended up biting the hell out of its sister it felt bad for her but she LOVED the marks apparently hehe. Such a wonderful experience hopefully we can do it some more, it knows though that next time its going to be a little bit easier on its sister's clit. Mistress You own it and love it as Your property. You care for and protect it. As Your slave it will submit and serve You. You own its mind and body. You demand devotion and obedience.

10/27/2011
Today was a bit interesting like all days now in this relationship with Master and Mistress... sis and it watched a few anime/ my little pony episodes and hung out for most of the day until randomly we get a call from the bedroom... it was Master and Mistress naked... it knew what was coming next and it immediately felt terrible because its cough/ sore throat is still around so it knew it could not please anyone orally but thankfully Mistress told it to just masturbate Master's cock whilst its sister sucked on it for Him... Then after that He got more frisky and fucked sister in her ass and then Mistress and it went all out on sister's chest and clit but it thinks it was a little rough with her clit... it thinks it finally figured out what she likes the most though and its very happy for its sister and how much pleasure she got to have in the past few days... Sadly though the days are counting down and it doesn't look like Master will have a job... hopefully Mistress wont break and let Him stay anyways... it would hate for that because then He knows that He has won and He will continue to undermined Her daily.... If He gets a job and stays though it thinks That he will have a new found respect for Mistress... Hopefully... Mistress You own it and love it as Your property. You care for and protect it. As Your slave it will submit and serve You. You own its mind and body. You demand devotion and obedience.

10/28/2011
Today was a tad strange something attacked it in its sleep and it thinks that being around Master and Mistress's arguing and the stress that it takes from all the under-minding He does to Her has brought the demon in full swing... it has not talked to sister or Mistress or Master about it but its pretty sure it will subside by the end of the week as long as it does not talk about it or acknowledge it too much... Other than that it got to watch some FMA (full-metal Alchemist) with its sister which was fun ^.=.^ this dragoness loves that show so muches and its so happy that she enjoys it as well. This one loves sooo much to be under Mistress's feet/ legs or just all around under Her and by Her just makes it feel that  much more like Her pet dragon... Just being there relieves soooo much stress and it has no more worries for the rest of the day when that happens. Her touch on its skin or hair is so amazing that it cant help but to make its cute little dragon noises to every touch, it makes it melt so much... Nothing is nicer and more pleasurable. Mistress You own it and love it as Your property. You care for and protect it. As Your slave it will submit and serve You. You own its mind and body. You demand devotion and obedience.


10/29/2011
Today was SUCH a VERY busy day, full of unpacking the boxes that we did set aside for later and getting more room in the house and spending lots of time with Mistress during all of this and got to see a small window into some of Her old life which was nice. It felt bad though because She had to shift through tons of old love letters and cards from family, friends and lovers and it could tell that put a little strain on Her. Then later it told Master and Mistress about the Pathfinder (D&D 3.75 basically) game it wishes to start centered around the league of legends universe sister Master and Mistress all did seem a little interested in it which made it happy but then Master does what Master does and argued with it for the entire evening trying to get this one to let Him play a evil type character and that irked it so much but it knew it wasn't its place to completely stop Him so it kept answering the questions   until He started to back off from the subject, thankfully. Today when it woke up it also felt another attack dream like the dark energy is still around a least a little and EVERY SINGLE day since the event its been having headaches for most of the day everyday its gotten a little afraid about it. Other than that, it remembers at the start of the week it mentioned about its position as Mistress's slave and it talked to sister a lot. How we enjoy serving are very different... sis typically like the physical domination and servitude through love and it thinks that she wishes she was actually MUCH closer to Mistress  but it thinks that its happy where its at as Mistress's pet dragon and nothing will ever change that. Now its not saying that's bad for its sister just been trying to keep her happy and it hopes that she will realize that she will never get a relationship like that with Mistress (at least as far as it knows, if Mistress started one it would be surprised but happy.) She is happily with Master though and it would hate to see Master and Mistress separated and although it worries tons and tons about this next Tuesday its confident that Master will get the job okay. Mistress You own it and love it as Your property. You care for and protect it. As Your slave it will submit and serve You. You own its mind and body. You demand devotion and obedience.


10/30/2011
Today it woke up with yet another headache that refuses to leave and while its at work typing this it even feels the creatures presence a little bit but its new best friend snowy (the submissive otherkin bunny that it met and introduced to Mistress and sister.) has shown it a couple of things to keep him back and this one strong... its been hitting off with her sooo well and this next weds we are going to our first submissive voice meeting and better yet SNOWY is going to go WITH US hurrayy!! its so very excited to meet her and its so excited for its sister to meet her... its sister REALLY needs friends out here especially ones in the area. it also plans to make a dinner that will be good for us all to eat that is vegan because she is vegan. its Mistress is so very kind to let snowy to come over for a visit and such, its so very very happy. Today though it felt SOOO terrible... we did the laundry and Mistress yelled about it being on the computer when laundry was to be done... it did not even notice that the laundry was ready to be folded or else it would of hopped off earlier... it really hopes lots and lots that its addiction problems and its nervous habits and its “ego” is curbed... it loves being the best slave/ pet it can be for Mistress but so many things are in the way, it so happy that Mistress still loves it and cares about it as Her property. This one is thinking about thanking Mistress again for everything She has done for us and how happy it is again... Without Mistress it would be more lost than a puppy in new york city. Mistress You own it and love it as Your property. You care for and protect it. As Your slave it will submit and serve You. You own its mind and body. You demand devotion and obedience.

Destiny 10/24/2011 - 10/30/2011

10-24-11

Journal, today was a very strange day. it had more strange dreams along the same line this morning. it woke up and did the chores with sis helping. Then sis wanted this one to show her a bit about Magick, first explaining some foundational principles about what magick is and what kinds there are and qabalah and such. Then this one did a tarot reading for her about how she can get closer to her dragon self, and the main thing that came out was the main obstacle holding her back is the fear of the demon that’s been following her. So from there we decided to try to contact the demon through automatic writing, to try and get some more information about it to confront it more effectively. Honestly it felt like the plan was a bit this one’s fault, since the reading encouraged sis to confront her fears directly and they would dematerialize, which is true, but it thinks we may have not been ready for such an operation. Especially considering the effect the experience had on sis and the apparent identity of the demon following her. Nonetheless it thinks it was a fruitful experience, especially in terms of being able to face the demon from a place of strength in the future. it was really draining on both of our energies so we took a short nap, and from there it mostly just waited for Mistress to get home. When She did She talked to it about the journals and addressed a lot of it’s concerns and things that happened. it doesn’t feel like it was able to express what it wanted to say and may have ended up saying things that She took the wrong way, but She did encourage it about things it can do and it will try to do the things She suggested to calm the emotions it’s been feeling and also try to be open about telling her about them. Also it received its punishment for what it did yesterday, which was extremely painful but it was glad for it. From there it made dinner and while Mistress was talking to sis about her journal we all had a talk about the evocation today, and it very much agrees with Mistress that we should be *much* more cautious from here on out. Not much really happened after that, we all went on our computers, this one had really bad indigestion but thankfully that has cleared up, and sis went off to work, and Mistress let it read some of Her conversation with Ori which it found both interesting and surprising. Anyway journal it doesn’t know really what else to say. it has such a strange feeling right now. it thinks perhaps with permission it will do another (or perhaps several) more banishings of the space tomorrow. It’s like there is a darkness hanging in the air. it thinks it is more it’s personal darkness though. it wonders if things will ever feel better. it wonders even what set it off down this dark path. it thinks it may have began when it was feeling sick earlier. For some reason it felt like it couldn’t relax, never could relax, and it realizes that a lot of the problem all along has been that it’s been so tense, hardly is there a moment where it feels like something bad isn’t just about to happen. it wishes it could feel better journal. This is a silly thing to think, but it wishes so badly that it could be close to Mistress. it knows She said it could come to Her whenever, and it knows this, but it feels so limited, so constricted. its feelings for Her are growing very strong, but it doesn’t know how to express them  in this role at all, all the silly ways it can think of are only the ways free people act, and that’s wrong. it wishes it understood things better. it feels so weak and stupid sometimes, it is beginning to accept that it probably will never be able to achieve all the things it used to dream about. it’s going to have to learn that that’s okay and what it has now is what it deserves and is enough. *sigh* anyway journal this isn’t really very productive, so it’s going to say goodnight. (p.s. it just had a very nice conversation with Mistress so it’s mood has improved considerably which it is very thankful to Her for. She really is such a sweet person, it is so grateful that Mistress owns it, it really would be lost without Her, She is this one’s saving grace…)

10-25-11

Journal today was a fairly strange day. it woke up in a much better mood than last night, after it wrote it’s entry it listened to sad music and Master asked if it was okay (it later thanked Him for the way He always checks up on this one, He is so sweet) and honestly it was, afterwards it felt a lot better. it guesses it does have it’s own ways of processing it’s negative emotions and afterwards it’s a lot better…it just needs to remember the little drama it’s always trying to live out in its head isn’t always real. Anyway today it just did chores in the morning and waited to pick up Mistress. While She was in Her meeting this one and sis had a wonderful and very deep talk in the car, it was very nice and it made it feel a lot closer to sis. Mistress apparently had a rough time at work, it felt very sorry for Her but very much enjoyed getting to rub Her feet to help Her feel better, as it is always so glad to make Her feel good in any way, and it enjoyed even a lot more than that the little foot fight we had after, it was so much fun, it doesn’t really have a lot of chances to just play with Mistress (like, the way Master does, it’s kind of envious of the free-ness They have between Each other) and so it relished that moment. From there we made dinner which was nice, it also got mail and feels bad now that its debts have been shifted to Mistress, it hopes it will get either a job or sell some stories or get some money as gifts so She doesn’t have to out-rightly pay out for it’s past expenses, it feels terrible for that. But it also got it’s birth certificate so we can try to go to the DMV now. Anyway not much happened from there, we’re not going to get to go to the play party it thought we were after all, and it was really excited for it, it’s always excited for any chance for Mistress and Master to play with it, but Mistress was generous to offer us an equal value in money to spend on games instead, which it appreciates. it will offer the value to cover the current payment on the debt though, that would make it feel better than getting something, and it feels like we do have enough games, but it really wishes we had more chances to play… anyway we just went on our computers, sis showed it a bunch of cool pics and videos and past chats. Then things kind of took a turn… we were just about to do, uhh, *something* (really didn’t know what, but it had some ideas so it was really excited, especially since it had been building up excitement for the Halloween party in its mind and then the disappointment from that) but just as we were about to go to the bedroom Master accidentally kneed Mistress in the head and She instantly got a terrible migraine. it felt so terrible for Her, it quickly did anything it could to help Her, which made it happy that it was able to attend to Her needs and help Her, but…honestly, it was really pretty angry at what happened, and extremely frustrated, this was the first chance we have had in a week to do anything because of ill health on all our parts and then…it knows it wasn’t Master’s fault but it was pretty angry for a good while, especially since He seemed to be continuing to poke at Mistress (it knows because He actually felt sorry for what He had done and didn’t know how to express it, but still) which kept hurting Her and slowing down Her feeling better, which really frustrated it, but it felt better as it was able to wait on Mistress and laid with it’s sister. From there She fell asleep which it was glad for since She wouldn’t feel the pain anymore, sis went off to work and this one and Master played a game together for several hours, which was really a  lot of fun, it hopes everyone else will get in the game too. Anyway that’s about all journal, Mistress woke up for a moment and told it to do it’s journal and it will go to bed as soon as it’s finished. No real observations today, although again a lot of the stuff that happened today has solidified in it’s mind it’s feelings and what it really wants and thinks about things, and it was glad that this one and sis were able to confide in each other, and that throughout the day it was able to do everything it could to help Mistress feel better, which is all that matters to it. it hopes things will be better tomorrow.

10-26-11

Journal today was a very exciting day. it woke up from many very strange dreams again, it’s very glad now that it’s getting much better dream recall recently. Anyway in the morning it didn’t do much but get the dishes done. When sis woke up we went to the grocery store to get some ingredients for the dinner Mistress sent it the recipe of. When it got home it mostly made dinner, it was actually *so* super much fun making dinner since it was slightly more complex than anything it’s made up to its point but it was proud that it did it mostly itself and it was *so* incredibly proud when both Mistress and sis praised its taste, it was so super squeeing inside. it is so very thankful to Mistress for all She has taught it, She has worked so hard to improve Her slave and it is so grateful. From there Mistress was having a Skype call with one of sis’ other-kin friends who is also a sub and trans and during the call this one got to lay beside Mistress while She rested Her hand on it and scratched its back, it was in heaven and felt so lucky (although it would feel *much* more lucky as the night went on) then we went into the bedroom and we were told to go onto the bed. Master was kind of bugging Mistress and holding Her up and contradicting every single thing She said, this one got really frustrated again because it didn’t think He really appreciated how important what Mistress does to us is to us when while He gets full access to Her, this is really one of our only ways of experiencing the bliss of Mistress, and also how much His contravening of Her actions takes us out of subspace and hurts us. it knows He means well it just wishes He could see the consequences of what He does.  Anyway shortly Mistress took care of things and it was better and we were tied up in a very complicated way which was very nice, it was interesting to have to cooperate with sis because we were bound so closely together and it looks forward to more experiences like that, and the beating we received was wonderful…it’s ashamed its such a pain-slut but it loves it. And Mistress stood on us and sat on us which was also heaven… then when all that was done Mistress gave both of us an absolutely incredible gift that we have both been yearning since this one arrived, she let us have our way with each other. it was so incredibly wonderful journal, it made it realize just how intensely it missed real passionate sex with a partner in a romantic rather than a being used way, it was amazingly satisfying, and it loved how rough sis was with this one, leaving such beautiful bites and marks all over its body, it’s so proud of them (although she was a little too rough with this one’s clit, but it’s ok) and moreover it was so glad not only that it was able to express it’s love and caring for sis in a physical way but that Mistress was able to see how deeply Her slaves care for each other and allowed us this incredible gift. Mistress showed us that She can love-bite even harder than sis though, pulling lovely blood right through our skin *sigh* now it’s all covered in pretty marks from both of T/them and it couldn’t be happier. Then Mistress let us come up on the bed and we all hung out, relaxing (especially while this one’s head was still spinning and it was still floating down from outer-space from the experience) watching Her play games and then later telling lots of funny jokes, it was positively enamored with Mistress in that moment, it loves Her with all it’s heart, and sis too. it was sad too though because we were talking about what might happen soon and it really dreads that outcome, and it hurt it to hear the pain Mistress felt about the whole situation in Her voice…it wishes it could do anything to help this situation be better, but again it knows that the way it feels for Her and the feelings it has to control for Her kind of bias it in this situation, so it will just do it’s best to support both Mistress and Master and not influence the situation (in particular it believes it should not make a show of trying to find a job like it did last week during this time to make things easier for Him) anyway from there Mistress let us read each others past and recent projects which was incredibly illuminating for it, though honestly sis thinks better of this one’s abilities and development as a slave than is really true which while it made it happy that she thought of it that way also made it sad for itself, but it did learn an incredible amount about her from her original assignment. Anyway journal we’re just going to take it easy maybe watch a movie or something before bed. Tonight was just absolutely wonderful, it doesn’t know how to say it more fully but it loves Mistress with all it’s heart and is so happy to be at Her feet, She makes everything wonderful for it, She guides it to such places of pure joy, it owes Her everything. it hopes everything goes well for us over the next short while…but like Mistress told it, it always knows that everything will be ok by the grace of Her.

10-27-11

Well journal it has an awful lot of things to talk about to you tonight. Today was a pretty intense day for a number of reasons.  Where to begin… early in the morning it woke up and did all it’s chores and stuff. Mistress texted it about the plane tickets and it got the idea that perhaps since it’s grandparents were offering to pay for it to fly back for thanksgiving they would be willing to help us out for Christmas and perhaps we could save money. Anyway it talked to it’s mom about it and we will see what happens,  it had a very lovely conversation with her besides. it also finally got a message back from one of it’s friends who it thought abandoned it after it sent a ‘hey like what’s the deal?’ message and he apologized for being flaky and hopefully it’ll be better from here on. Anyway the morning and early afternoon this one and sis mainly hung out and we had soooo super much fun it felt once again like it grew much closer to sis, we watched shows and chatted a bunch about all kinds of things and it even shared some interesting things with her and she with this one, so it was so happy, it loves it’s sis so much. Anyway, the sink was backed up (still is) so Master went with us on a little adventure to the store after the construction people unblocked it’s car which was fun. it was actually really nice Master ordered it to do a bunch of things today which was absolutely wonderful since He usually doesn’t, maybe He is becoming more comfortable with this one or something but at any rate it was very thankful for Him doing so. Anyway it was super tired (it got the appropriate amount of sleep but it just felt like so drained, it’s body felt all beat up…especially it’s neck, hehe) when it got home so it took a nap until Mistress got home when we tried to fix the drains but apparently we will have to wait on maintenance to do it. From there it started talking to Snowy again and sis started making dinner which was this really interesting idea Master suggested, and it helped doing the side stuff and it turned out really well. After dinner Mistress gave it the game money She promised which it was so grateful for and it got the champion it wanted in lol and we played a few games. Then we were going to watch a movie but Mistress decided not to so it just went back on the computer and kept talking to Snowy. She and this one have really hit it off actually, it feels like she is a very, very special friend to this one already and since she is also friends with all of us it really feels like she is a member of the family and it’s so glad she’s close, it can’t wait to meet her. it won’t wax on about our conversation here since it’s not the appropriate place but it will mention some pertinent things. She was talking to this one about some of the negative experiences she has had in the past and how the members of her family helped her through it, in particular she described the relationship she has with her mate which sounds absolutely wonderful, it is so happy for her and even a little envious. On the other hand she also talked about the difficulties with her Master, and in that aspect this one things she is a little envious of this one so it supposes there is balance. But it has been so glad to discover we have so much in common, and she is such an easy person to talk to and a great listener, this one can tell we are going to be great friends. Anyway while we were talking after Mistress and Master had gone to the bedroom They called us in and we were both quite surprised to be greeted by a naked Master and Mistress. At first it was hard for it to get in the swing of things since from what this one was talking about and thinking about on the computer it wasn’t really in the mood but very quickly with everyone there and everyone touching it it stopped feeling like it was pressured to perform flawlessly and could just enjoy itself, especially when Mistress told it this was just for pleasure…it actually made it really happy to know that its times being used are for it’s enjoyment too and it doesn’t have to be so tense about performing perfectly…it supposes it knew that before but it was very comforting to hear Mistress say that.  And as we went on things got very, very, very good, when Master was filling this one up hard and repeatedly and Mistress was pleasing this one with Her hands and She and sis were playing with it’s chest and we were all pressed together in a single sweating moaning mass it felt like we were one, and it was in heaven, honestly it was some of the most intense pleasure it has ever felt on both a physical and emotional level, we all were one and in the thrusts and between its desperate gasps it’s mind was completely obliterated in bliss.  it was just so wonderful and it was so immensely thankful to Master and Mistress for that gift, it could hardly walk, for like an hour afterwards it’s whole body and soul were just vibrating in happiness. After taking a shower to clean up it came back online and kept talking to Snowy and we had a wonderful conversation, we’re becoming really close and it is so grateful to her for the things she said, this one was still feeling kind of strange since it didn’t know how really to interpret what had just happened to it, on the one hand it finds it quite difficult to enjoy being used without any build up, especially since it’s favorite thing in the universe is the intimacy and affection and long slow powerful build of passion during sex, not even necessarily the act itself, but at the same time when it gave in it found itself in such immense pleasure and Snowy helped this one work through that. She also encouraged this one to talk more to Mistress about what it tried to in its journal last week and again when we had our review about the journal but feels like it failed to, especially since in that circumstance. it was really easy for it to fumble over its words. But she encouraged it to let Her know here that what it was trying to say is that for a number of reasons it feels uncomfortable for asking so, especially since Mistress and Master don’t engage in it much or in the same way in Their own relationship between Them it feels unfair to ask for or need it itself, but it does wish it could be more physically intimate with Mistress (it would say Master too but it knows that's unlikely)  at all times not just in certain situations, and actually especially with feeling more comfortable approaching Her with this need like yesterday when we all laid together on the pet bed this has been getting a lot better, but it still should express that this is what it meant by ‘loneliness’ last time, this need it feels for physical affection from the One it loves. it gets this sort of from its sis but it really feels like we’re sisters so it’s not quite the same, whereas it feels totally different with Mistress. it doesn’t want Her to think that She is doing anything wrong or has been anything but completely open with it and generous to it in all ways, but the chat tonight made it realize that it needs to be more explicit about it’s needs…that as much as it feels like an observer of it’s own life and as much as it knows it’s wants and needs are to be subordinated to Mistress’ and Master’s that they still are important and also belong to Them. it knows everything will get better, we’re just getting started and this one still has so much to learn and it trusts Them completely so it knows everything will be ok, but it is very appreciative to Snowy for encouraging it to speak up a little more and comforting it at a very vulnerable moment. Anyway it could go on but it’s head is still all over the place with just so many overwhelming emotions that it fears it’s being altogether incoherent so it will say goodnight for now journal.

10-28-11

Journal it doesn’t quite know what to talk to you about tonight. today was a very strange but interesting day. We all woke up about the same time and played video games and such, this one got to make breakfast for Master and sister which it was happy to do, and from there we played some games of lol and watched FMA. This one went to pick up Mistress and took Her to the store and was glad to see that She wasn’t in a bad mood like Master had thought and it was glad to be able to pick Her up to help Her out. From there when we got home this one made dinner which turned out pretty well it thinks and then sis and this one went out to get groceries and had an interesting talk as always along the way, it also talked to it’s family on the phone a couple of times during the day about strange things. When it got home things went well it was glad the drain had been fixed and we played a game of lol with Mistress and sis which was lots of fun, and then we all watched this awesome chic flick together, it was the one it kind of suggested so it was worried it wasn’t going to be good but it was so awesome, such a tear jerk-er and just what this one needed to see now, and Mistress laid with us with her legs on top of us and fed this one popcorn so it was in heaven. From there it just chatted online while Master and Mistress were in the bedroom and it also got to wait on Them a little after They were done which was nice, from there it just had to run sis her badge which she accidentally forgot, and it was glad to be able to help out, and Master rode with it which was fun, this is the first time it has gotten to drive in SD at night which it really enjoyed and was really beautiful, it’s best driving at night. Anyway from there this one just got back and chatted more with sis and snowy a bit over Skype and talked with Master about silly videos on the internet which was lots of fun all around. Again it has little to say tonight journal other than all that, so it will say goodnight since it is late.

10-29-11

Journal once again it’s not quite sure what to tell you about today, today was a rather ordinary day. it woke up rather early and it was very, very cold, but thankfully since it was feeling rather tired Mistress gave it permission to take a nap, and then we all took a nap for a good bit longer, but when it woke up it felt very refreshed and was able to get all the chores done easily. sis woke up shortly thereafter and we cleaned the bathroom and then we set about unpacking and organizing the boxes from the storage, which took up pretty much the rest of the day. it was glad it got to make lunch for everyone during the middle, which was fun, and it was also fun to see all the stuff Mistress was pulling out. Throughout the course of the day we were all having a discussion which Master was at the center of, it was fun at parts, especially when it got to articulate some of its ideas about the evolution of humanity and the future of technology and stuff, but at other times it was a little annoying, especially for sister when we were talking about possibilities in the D&D game she was thinking about running for us. But other than that little else happened, we finished unpacking and tidied up and then this one mostly just got on the computer and talked to snowy about it’s writing, which was very nice and she was very helpful, it’s glad that it thinks that thanks to her it might actually get out of the rut it’s been in with it’s writing. Anyway it has little else to say about today, as we mostly just worked on that one thing and it has no further observations.

10-30-11

Journal once again it doesn’t feel like it has a whole-whole lot to talk to you about tonight that is terribly interesting. Today it woke up and had a little touching base chat with Mistress, then got all nice and clean and shortly thereafter sis got up and Mistress and she and this one went out to do groceries, which was fun as always, especially since we went for a walk and had some connection time between us. When we got back sis and this one did laundry, which was fun as always since we got to chat and cut up, we had a particularly fun tickle fight in which this one won through mewing adorably, meaning my plan was successful, mwahaha. it sorted out the issues with the plane ticket (for the most part) and found out that we’re still on course to go to ConFursion in January, which should also be super fun. Afterwards we all kind of took it easy. Mistress wasn’t feeling terribly well all day so this one and sis hung out with Her to try to make Her feel as much better as possible, including awesome things like foot rubs and all of us laying together. Honestly this one felt like it was the one being spoiled, not Her, getting to lay it’s head on Her while She caressed it, it craves each of those moments where She allows it to be near Her and we were so close tonight it was just absolutely in bliss. it loves Mistress with all it’s heart…if it has had doubts about many other things it doesn’t doubt that. Anyway we watched a bunch of cool scary movies and shows, and then everyone went to sleep (including Master, quite early for Him) and so this one has just been writing it’s journal, thinking about it’s writing some and talking to snowy (who it seems will be joining us for the submissive voice meet and coming to visit us for the evening on Wednesday, which is super awesome!) Anyway journal little else to report beyond that…this one is really just hoping everything goes well tomorrow. Everyone is kind of holding their breath, it feels like.